I am engaged to a wonderful man for whom I've been in love with for almost five years. I do not wish to change this because I love him and our life, but secretly I wish that I could find a woman and make love to her. I have been having thoughts of hot, sweaty, dirty girl on girl for most of my life and I would love to explore my fantasies. I also confess to looking online for a girl who will humor me just once. I ache for the touch of another woman's body, but I loath my own.