Despite being one of your bridesmaids, I skipped out on the practice ceremony dinner because I was so anxious. I lied and said my dad was in the hospital so I needed to leave. I then skipped your wedding on the big day because the green dress did not fit. To this day I do not have an explanation as to why. The day of I went frantically shopping looking for corsets to help the dress fit. I ultimately got the dress altered in record time (bless that seamstress) but I missed the wedding. I knew it was too small, but I didn't have the money to get it altered before that day. I lied and said I had a severe case of the stomach flu or food poisoning, ultimately had to "be admitted into the hospital". My brother dropped of the wedding present that day for me. I lied to many, many people that day. I never made an attempt to hang out with my best friend, the groom, after the wedding. They found out I lied. I am remorseful. Two years later I am trying to get the words together to apologize, knowing that we won't reconcile anything. I don't want to be friends. I can, however, accept responsibility for my careless actions. I didn't deserve to be in the wedding party beforehand and proved that as it all went down. I'm a remorseful pile of poop.