a male model who looked like johnny depp. carrying a knife.

and I was tricked and I lost him.

I went crazy that year and rip things up and threw things around and took anti-depressants and lived in a fantasy world thinking about gassing myself all for lost love.

I was angry and fucking masturbating like so angry.

he didn't say a word the whole time I realized where he lived at the back neighbors and I thought "you fucking shit. you dream stealer"

but I still think he was hot. but he means nothing to me now. but he would have been everything to me back as a teen.

and what a great model magazine teen life he expressed in every photo shoot. and why couldn't I??