I love these girls who have pink blonde hair because I think it is so pretty like Diana argon and samatha fox in naughty girls need love too. but I find them a touch too slutty for me. if I was to do a pink dip in the hair it would be gentle as I am a gentle rebel at heart.

people label so much about "naughty" or "bad" and I don't think its bad to like sexual pleasure. despite what people say about me I am not a bad girl.

I did want sexual feelings young and enjoyed some of them, most of the time what my older relative did to me was dirty but it made me so horny that I think I was like walking around with swollen pussy lips all the time. it was crazy time for me. orgasms came as easy as opening the cordial bottle for a fix of blackcurrent cordial that I loved as a child.

he would often get me to sit on his knee and touch me up the legs. that was nice and sent rockets of pleasure through me. but that was after he went straight for my pussy at the age of 5. the touching and stroking me up the legs etc came after all the full on stuff in my pants.

he made me come to his bed one day and told me to be quiet and not tell anyone, to not move or speak and then put his fingers in my pants. he felt over my slit and clit and wrapped his finger over my hole but did not penetrate it. I felt numb and dumb for letting him do it. how should a frightened 5 year old react???? he didn't bother me for days afterwards in between all the huge party we had. but then it came on hard and fast. this went on for a while on and off. hitting me as well. forcing himself at me. I felt like I was in jail with him.

years before that my older cousins had had parties and touched me up as well. leaving scars inward I could never talk about.

these people eroticized me young. teasing my heart and mind as well. not just pussy teasing but hurtful and laughing at me. I wanted to die.

often I would hide away not play with others.

I wanted a fuckable young hot as gorgeous daddy figure to rescue me deep down. taking me away and living out a life of passionate sex where he was cute and I was cuter. and taking me all over the whole to model, live like a princess in some eastern Europe nation or castle or mansion, to travel and explore parts of the world, to dine in nice restaurants and have fun, and otherwise have a normal home life. that sounds dumb but I really wanted to get away from this old guy who was not right for me. part of me can be attracted to some older men but its fleeting and I am choosy. I wanted to be a star or singer and look pretty. I wanted to be educated and be a clever good girl for my daddy (and in life I grew up to be a sort of clever girl for mummy and daddy. they know I am their good little girl despite my childhood horror)...

I was wanting sex young but kept pushing off the desire to go all the way. then I became absolutely scared of penetration and getting pregnant. I really wanted to be a virgin for my boyfriend who would do all the dumb things like kiss me on the porch and take me to the debuted ball or graduation and make a fuss over me in his nice car and treat me like a princess, as his sweet thing that he wanted to deflower.

I was addicted to orgasms so long as they came then who cared.

I am not bad, I have just been preyed upon for my innocence and stupidity or just the desire to be loved.