I am unable to hold down relationships with men. one guy liked me and I could not go to his families place and play this happy little young couple, then it happened another 3 or 4 times as well with other guys. I don't know what is wrong with me, that I can't find intimacy and even as a child I was this way. marriage and romance with young men was an illusion a desire but all I was ever gonna be was a whore that did the sex work and got back on the street. people seen a side of me that perfect but then there was a side to me of waiting outside hotels on streets in skimpy shorts and high heel strappy black shoes sucking lollypops and looking for a pick up. I was in a relationship with another bi-girl for a few weekends with a girlfriend we slept in together while following bands around the place we were sort of groupies and we just wanted to fuck them really we both agreed we would share on band member happily both be married to him. we went to a few after parties after gigs in the bands hotel room. we should have been fucking them. I I had a few female friends that were border line bi/lesbian orientated. but I longed to be a normal hetro girl, but can't seem to find the right guy.
but a few times I was tempted back to the rape hotel culture with other fellow students at college and it almost happened again. it could happen again. I just want someone to save me from my dark nightmares.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 9, 2018 at 9:48 AM

I have been bi-sexual ever since I started watching my mother get dressed for her dates. Never the guy. She would dress 50's pin up style with intensely sexy makeup. I would watch her, talk to her as she got dressed. As soon as her date honked, she would run to the door wearing lingerie stockings and heels only, open the door wide to make sure he got a good look and say “i'll Be out in one minute”. She would always stay out until 2 in the morning so I had plenty of time to try on her lingerie, dresses and make up. I was glad she had dates bc it gave me the opportunity to cross dress. I would put on her black nylon lingerie stocks and heels and then do my make up. She was pretty but I was prettier. I loved wearing full model style make up. I would then pick a dress. My fav was a red stretchy tight cocktail dress one of her boyfriends bought her. When she didn't wear it for him, it was mine. After I finished my make up, I would go to the front door, open it wide and say i'll Be out in one minute. I would then put on my dress , drive to a dark marina and walk around hoping to get picked up. I always did. The first time was so sexy, I was so turned on. This guy was watching me and he looked nice so I walked up to his car. He was wearing a shirt only, holding his hard cock, looking at me and stroking it. We didn't say anything, we just looked at each other. He knew I was gay, I was cross dressed and it turned him on. It was perfect. I got in and immediately started licking, kissing his cock. I didn't suck it bc I wanted to tease him more. He started kissing me an I felt his hands all over my body. I never felt so deeply emotional like this before. He was satisfying my deepest desires. He unzipped my dress and told me to take I off and We got in the back seat. We kissed, we made love and sucked his cock wanting to give the greatest pleasure he ever had. The next week as soon as my mother got picked up by her date, I would get dressed in lingerie and put on full pin up style make up and call him. He would honk, I would open the door, stand in front of him as pretty and feminine as I could and say “I will be out in one minute”. Sometimes, He would take me to a drive in. We would park way in the back. We would kiss, make out, suck each other's cock all night long. He bought me pink frilly panties and matching garter belt and bra and nude stockings and pink heels and pink make up. He would tell me how to dress and how to put on make up. I loved the attention, the sex and was happy to satisfy his every desire. He asked me to walk around while he looked at me and stroked his cock. Of course I gladly did. It turned me on so so much. He arranged for one of his friends to pick me up and park close by so he could watch me get on my knees and suck his friends cock. I gladly did, loving being dressed in pink, on my knees, sucking a stiff cock and knowing my boyfriend was watching me and jacking off.
As soon as I got a mouthful of sperm I made sure some was on my face and went back to my boyfriend. The sperm on my face almost made him cum. I said to him, I will do whatever that gives you pleasure, use me, share me with all your friends. Standing beside the car, I took off my dress, his friends sperm still on my lips, I got in and sucked his cock using my mouth like a tight pink teens pussy.

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