I was raped by a married man in a hotel room as a virgin and had a heart attack or stroke and I went back for more 6months later and I don't know why. I guess I thought it was normal. I screamed at him I could not breathe, NO ONE CAME TO HELP. NO ONE HEARD THE SCREAM.

anyway, I have not been with another man since and its been 13 years now since I had sex of any kind. but now and then I consider going back to that fuck a stranger in a hotel for a new sex job life because I am completely unable to hold down relationships or play happy families with a partner.

so I can wake up on the floor again from the darkness and think "where am I and what the fuck am I doing here with this STRANGE man" .