When I was a young boy, barely 11 years old, i was curious as to how it would feel to be touched. Touched where no 11 year old should be. My little sister was barely learning to read, and i was putting her to bed that night. while reading her the story, my curiosity got the best of me and I made a choice that I regret to this day. I took her hand and placed it on my belly, and moved her hand down to the level of my belt line. she pulled her hand away, and i let her go. I didn't know what i was doing then, but i do now, and that memory burns me to this day. it has eaten a hole in my mind. this memory turned me into an alcoholic, a stoner, a cigarette smoker. I have this huge secret boiling behind my eyes every time i see her, or any of the rest of my family. I have never told a soul. I wish to ask for her forgiveness, but if i told her this, i am afraid that i would forever taint how she sees the world, and she deserves to know the world like I always wished i could.