I never considered myself as being Gay or having any real emotional attraction to other guys as such. Yet, hearing so much about Gay things these days, I began to feel very curious about what it would be liked to be with another guy. I beagn to feel very intrigued. In fact, I began to fanatsize about this quite a bit. I would enjoy walking arond the house naked and having an outstanding erections, thinking about other guys naked and seeing them with a boner, and playfully feeling totally Gay while I masturbated. For fun, I began to finger my butt hole while I masturbated, and this proved to be very stimulating and I really liked it. I started using the rounded handle of a hairbrush, sliding it in and out and making my ejaculations even more intense. Finally, I worked up the nerve to actually go into an adult shop where I purchased a dildo. It was quite realistic and exciting using that.
This went on for several months. Then there was an older guy that I knew, and one day I was over at his house. The two of us were just talking, but he was being quite chummy and I got the impression that he wouldn't mind being more personal. Again I was quite intrigued and was openly encouraging of this. This was about all it too. Within fifteen minutes were out of our clothes and naked in each other's arms and making out. I remember how exciting it was to actually get to hold and feel another guy's bare boner. He sucked on my hard dick a little bit and I tried sucking on his, which I was very excited having the opportunity to do. I played with his big hairy balls and licked the swollen head of his penis and we kissed and fondled some more. Finally he got a condom and I knew what he wanted to do. I was nervous but went along with it. He got behind me and slowly eased his hard organ through my tight butt hole. I pretty much already knew what to expect, having used my dildo so often. Only it was different with my not being in complete control, and it hurt a little and felt uncomfortable as he pushed his boner all the way in. Then, without giving me a chance to relax and loosen up, he began fucking me and doing so quite vigerously. I grimaced and endured the activity. It hurt, but at the same time the stiumlating action made my own boner so stiff. He fucked me for a couple of minutes and then ejaculated inside of me. When he finished, and still in me, he reached around to gtake a hold of my boner and jacked me off. I squirted these really long, powerful streams and my clomax was extremely intense.
Then, afterwards, when I was back home, I found the experience to be rather disappointing. My butt hole was sore and very tender from the workout it had received, which was a lot more energetic than what I was accustomed to giving myself. I also disliked the attitude that he had, just assuming that he could fuck me and I would naturally let him. He basically just treated me like a plaything. It hadn't been like the loving male-rapport that I had imagined, with two guys being romantically sexual. Instead, I felt used, although I knew that I could hardly complain since I had willingly gone along with it.
Anyway, the experience greatly reduced my Gay fantasies. Since that time, I have still dreamly thought about meeting another guy who feels the same way that I do, wanting to enjoy the physical pleasure of making love together as guys. I'm sure that guys like that are out there. Only I know that I would have to go through too many "I-just-want-to-use-you" kind of guys to find them. But who knows, maybe I will meet someone like this someday. I still find this an appealing thought as a basically straight guy.