Having a boyfriend I took the responsible route and got on the pill. Which the purpose of is being defeated because I'm just not as easily insanely aero used as I once was. Missionary is so old and it seems like its just never hard enough for me to slip into that insane orgasm that last forever anymore... I love him so much and he's the only guy I dream of taking my clothes off for anymore but I've lost the intensity on my end.

He's still getting off with no problems and I am feeling the need that I need more intense, kinky, dirty, border line abusive sex.

Before me and him got back together when I was having great sex the problem was I was so damn pissed all the time because I was being used and couldn't shake the need for an emotionally unavailable asshole who was amazing in bed. It sucked! But without being used as a live sex doll with ties on my legs and feet I'm just not feeling that intense electric "you have to fuck me now or I'll make you but I only like it when you make me" feeling anymore...
Idk... I love him but I just don't think he has that twisted little bone in him that's needed to provoke that in me...
Maybe those times are over... But that just fucking sucks...
I know I'm rambling but who the hell can I tell this to?? Anyone I talk to about it will just tell me to try hair pulling or some shit... And that is part of it but what creates that feeling is the random sex with this one older male when I don't have to ask for it, when there's no questions or prior suggestions just every moves flows and feels so fucking wrong you can't get enough.
Shit... I need a really fucking good orgasm... Or different birth control.