So, I got really fucking drunk like a week ago. When I woke up I couldn't find any of my clothes, my face was really sticky and my asshole hurt. I'm cool with that, that's alright by me, I mean whoever took advantage of me is a dick but I remember enjoying myself so that's cool. But, when I woke up I thought I had to take a massive shit, like you wouldn't believe. It turns out, sometime during the drunken orgy I was apparently involved in, I (or someone else) managed to get an ENTIRE DOUBLE ENDED DILDO the whole way inside of my ass. I couldn't get it out myself and I didn't want to go to the ER so long story short I have a BFF and I will defend her with my life, because even though my ass is clean as a whistle you have to be a GREAT friend to do that for someone you don't want to fuck and you're not getting paid.