Dad passed last month and left me to clean up his things. In his bank box I found old pictures and papers. Some things made me smile, one packet shocked me. Was Linda nude in his office. His secretary and my moms friend. A married women who came in my room one day. I had showered after baseball practice, about 16 years old.
She told me how sex I looked and shortly after we has sex on my bed. We had sex many times till she died. A married women and her husband a nice guy. I had feelings of guilt with each meeting. She told of lonesome feelings and his lack of abilities.
I guess she did the same with dad. I found a note from my dad. He told of his suggestion she do this. His idea of me becoming knowledgeable of the world and women. He paid chip and Johnny to take me to Mexico. Watch over me as I learn when and when not to drink.
His way of helping me become a real man.
I found pictures and letters from women in the office. Some told of offers for him to get anything he wants. Some telling him thanks for what he gave them.
I don't feel bad toward dad and I guess what he did was ok. His intentions were good.
He never knew I lost the girl I loved most in this world because of this. Starr snuck over to have some alone timw with me. She snuck up the stairs to surprise me. She found me and Linda having sex. She told me it was over. She could not trust me. She went on to marry someone else. I married a girl I liked, not loved. We divorced year before last. She told me she loved me, she knew I never loved her.
I will wait and should her marriage ever fail I will be there. No relationships at all for me.

Thank you for a place to say this. I can not tell my family. I found pictures of my brothers wife, before he and she got married. I guess dad had her pose when she worked there in high school.