I was introduced to sex at a very young age through porn. I started masturbating at age 8, touched my first cock at 10 and lost my virginity at 15.

I've always been very monogamous. Strictly believing in one true love and loyalty all that. I've never had random sex with anyone. All sex I've had(with the exception of my rape) was with someone I had deep feelings for.

Despite all of this I consider myself a closet slut. For the last couple of years I've felt like I have a list within myself I can't seem to satisfy. I make myself cum 3-5 times a night and still want more. I want to be abused by a man and fucked until I scream. I want to be used and abused fucked so hard and so much I pass out.

I've even had a fantasy of being gang banged. Where I interview men and pick my top ten I want to fuck me. Me not having to give them head or anything. The whole purpose of it all would be to have all these men doing everything they could to please me. Over and over and over again.

Now I have a family. With a fiance I love with everything I have in me but still, he doesn't please me sexually and I don't know what to do.