Straight Male / 48
Straight, I think.
I do not have any emotional needs that are fulfilled by other men. For that I have a wife and family. I am a career man, having spent the last 27years with the same company rising through the ranks and hold a position of responsibility and am well compensated.
I am also a 'cock sucker' and in more than one occasion I have 'bottomed out' for a guy who was going to do it regardless. He fucked me regularly for over two years and I sucked his cock whenever he called for 'service'. He is the one that I am questioning about, you see he is fucking another guy now and I have to beg for it and wait until he is through with this other guy. I say guy, this guy is a simpleton dweeb, who works at the denny's. It is very hard to watch while he is getting fucked and I have to wait. I know I am being taught and I have to learn to accept it, but it is hard.
My consolation is sucking him off after he fucks this worthless dweeb. Do you know how humiliating it is to watch that dweeb get fucked and only then I get to suck him, do you have any idea how much shit I've had to eat???????????????? All because I did not acknowledge him. I am not a young man, I am a grown man with a position of responsibility, and this worthless dweeb is my 'teacher', do as he does, and learn! Really????????????????
I wish I had never met either one of them, and I could have just continued on my journey with random acts of kindness to men who needed some relief. There are lots of men who travel to the city where I live, and I work downtown and know exactly where to go. But if I go now, I suffer worse punishment.
I am tired of being punished, I am tired of having to wait for seconds after that worthless dweeb with his spider tattoo on his back. But tired or not I have no choice anymore. I am afraid the frustration is showing on my family and at work.
I am straight, it is just this need for cock that controls me, it always has, once I tried it I have never been able to give it up, not in school, or the navy, or at work. It is my only 'bad habit', but it is so worth the shame. But that does not make what I am being put through now justifiable. It is purely a control thing, I know that. I have to learn, but when will the lessons be over????????????????
I do not have any emotional needs that are fulfilled by other men. For that I have a wife and family. I am a career man, having spent the last 27years with the same company rising through the ranks and hold a position of responsibility and am well compensated.
I am also a 'cock sucker' and in more than one occasion I have 'bottomed out' for a guy who was going to do it regardless. He fucked me regularly for over two years and I sucked his cock whenever he called for 'service'. He is the one that I am questioning about, you see he is fucking another guy now and I have to beg for it and wait until he is through with this other guy. I say guy, this guy is a simpleton dweeb, who works at the denny's. It is very hard to watch while he is getting fucked and I have to wait. I know I am being taught and I have to learn to accept it, but it is hard.
My consolation is sucking him off after he fucks this worthless dweeb. Do you know how humiliating it is to watch that dweeb get fucked and only then I get to suck him, do you have any idea how much shit I've had to eat???????????????? All because I did not acknowledge him. I am not a young man, I am a grown man with a position of responsibility, and this worthless dweeb is my 'teacher', do as he does, and learn! Really????????????????
I wish I had never met either one of them, and I could have just continued on my journey with random acts of kindness to men who needed some relief. There are lots of men who travel to the city where I live, and I work downtown and know exactly where to go. But if I go now, I suffer worse punishment.
I am tired of being punished, I am tired of having to wait for seconds after that worthless dweeb with his spider tattoo on his back. But tired or not I have no choice anymore. I am afraid the frustration is showing on my family and at work.
I am straight, it is just this need for cock that controls me, it always has, once I tried it I have never been able to give it up, not in school, or the navy, or at work. It is my only 'bad habit', but it is so worth the shame. But that does not make what I am being put through now justifiable. It is purely a control thing, I know that. I have to learn, but when will the lessons be over????????????????
