Straight Female / 49
Whwn I was 17 I ran away from home because I was basically brutalized by my step father for more than 10 years. I opted to live with my grandmother for a year then joined the Air force where I spent the next 24 years. My real dad was killed in Vietnam in 1967 and my mom married Dale in 1971 when I was only 6. A lot I don't recall at first but he turned into a dictator not only with me but also my mother. I was petrified of him and I'm sure my mother was so afraid of him she submitted to all of his demands. He insisted I be home schooled and controled my mother so much she lost most of her friends manily after we moved to a secluded area 20 miles outside of the closest town. He controlled the food we ate and everything else in our lives. I never saw him hit or beat my mother but over the years I heard her crying, screaming at times and suspect he beat her like he did me. When I got older I also believe he sexually abused her as well never seeing any sex between them but hearing many strange sounds and pleadings by my mother from their bedroom. Dale never forced sex with me but my entire time living with him was degrading and the most humiliating 10+ years of my life. I do know now most of the things he did or made me do were for his sexual gradifcation but there was never any actual sex acts between us. Within the first year he began spanking me for anything he thought bad or irresponsible. My mother objected at first but his tone of voice and the ways he threatened her soon had her excepting and permitting him do do as he pleased all the time. The first few times he spanked me he did bare my bottom in front of my mother but soon began sending me to my room before he'd spank me. Once he came in my room I was forced to completely disrobe and he always spanked me naked from then on. When it came to me there was no privacy whether in my bedroom or the bathroom where I wasn't allowed to lock the door. He often came in while I bathed and even sometimes when using the toilet mostly after enemas. I not only saw him in his boxer shorts everyday but saw him naked many times each week and til today wonder why my mother never intervened or tried to stop him from treating me so badly. The word humiliation doesn't come close to how I was treated by Dale and I was so intimadated by him I became submissive and obedient. Then the ultimate embarrasssment began when I was right around 10 years old. Dale, my mother and I were sitting at the table when he used the word "enema" which at that time I had never heard before. He told me and had my mother verify that he gave her enemas twice each month and that it was healthy and I was old enough to get them. I cringe now at what this man did to me for all those years and can't explain why I didn't run away sooner than I did. The enemas were given to me 2 times a month and became more humiliating each time. I had to be naked and lay on my bed while Dale slowly inserted the nossle in me and slowly let warm water flow into me. As bad as that was he would follow as I went into the bathroom and stand there watching me as I sat on the toilet. When I was finished he would make me stand and bend over with my legs spread apart while wipeing and washing me there. Each month that passed the spankings were less frequent but my privacy was non-existent and my fear of him continued but also increased.
The threat of a spanking was enough to make me like a saint around him but the more I began to develop the more intrusions I had in the bathroom and my bedroom. I was between 11 and 12 when my mother got a part time job as a waitress. Dale began what he called inspections and would come in my room to make sure everything was clean and in its proper place. He not only did that but would make me take my clothes off to inspect my body. He didn't touch me but made me stand naked while he walked around me then he made me lay on the bed. The only psrt of me he touched was my feet and would open my toes telling me he wanted me clean. Then, I believe to intentionally humiliate me, would make me lay on the bed. First on my back bending my knees up and opening my vigina lips with my fingers always telling me how important it is to keep that part of my body clean. Then I had to get on my knees bending over and opening the cheeks of my butt exposing my anus to him in the pretence of cleanliness. He did this to me 1 or 2 times a week, mostly while my mother was working in the evenings and when it first began I thought he just wanted to embarrass me. I was pretty stupid because I know it was more than likely done for his own sexual arousement. When he did this he was always in his boxers and as I got a little older I began to see he would have erections most of the time. The enemas continued twice a month as did the suprise inspections and if he did consider my body dirty he would make me get a bath and watch me wash myself. By the time I was 13 my breasts were developing and I had pubic hair but still was to afaird and intimadated by Dale to to object, knowing I would lose any argument and receive a beating from him. One night he came in my room and while looking for a mess somewhere just told me to take off my clothes again. He did the typical inspecting of my body then ordered me into the bathroom where he made me take a bath, telling me my feet were dirty. He watched me wash myself then handed me his razor and insisted I shave my pubic hair telling me it was not sanitary and telling me he shaved his which I already knew from seeing him naked so often. As I shaved myself he told me my mother did also and that I was welcome to ask her about it, which I never did. From then on he determined when I needed to shave and this kept on taking place weekly along with the enemas and occassional spankings without my mothers intervention. Dales nudity around me never stopped and during my teeage years I was more aware when he had an erection. When I think back on those years I'm aware now that it affected me mentally and to a degree believe he had me somewhat brain washed. Today things are different than they were in the 1970's. Kids are more aware of things because child abuse is more out in the open. Back then it wasn't spoken about nearly as much as it is today. I did tell my grandmother about most of these things when I lived with her a short time but nothing was ever done about it aside from my grandmother and mother not getting along afterwards. When I went into the Air Force I didn't speak or see my mother for 15 years and never saw Dale again. I do talk to her today but seldom and rarely see her and still blame her for what transpired all those years. Dale died in 2008 and from what I have heard hardly anyone showed up at his funeral. When I think back it was a rare day when anyone visited our house back then and doubt if Dale really had any friends. I did meet his mother a couple times but she lived far away in Memphis. I never got married until I was 36 and I am sure because of Dale I never had sex with a guy until I was 24 years old. It took me years to get over Dale's abuse of me and I still think about all the things he subjected me to and the ways he humiliated me. It was so degrading at the time I don't think I fully understood he was doing this to me to satisfy himself and I do consider it sexual abuse. Aside from being a phile I now realize he was also an exibitionist. I don't think I can ever forgive my mother completely since she allowed this to continue and had to know Dale was abusing me. I'm sure she was unaware of some of it because when Dale was doing all these things we were always alone and my mother was always told to stay downstairs. I also should have been more vocal about it with my mother but fear of Dale caused me to keep silent and to afraid to say anything. I did speak to my mother about it several times after Dale died but she acts like she didn't know or wasn't aware of most of it, but I think she is lying to me. When I finally ran away was shortly after a week of total misery. My mother worked extra evenings filling in for one of the other waitresses. Three nights in a row he came in my room for those inspections makeing me bathe twice and the second night making me shave. Everytime I shaved my pubic hair he watched me and mad me stand up in the tub. He always had me sit back down in the water to rense off then would look to see if I missed a spot, which I did often. The third night he gave me an enema and after he washed me anus area he followed me back to my bedroom and gave me a spanking that was one of the most brutal I ever had, and for no good reason. The next day I took money from my mother purse and bought a bus ticket to my grandmothers house. After I talked to her for awhile telling her things she got into a big argumrnt with my mother on the phone. It went on for days with phone calls back and forth and finally it was agreed I stay with my grandmother. I got my high school equivilency and a year orso after joined the Air Force and finally free of Dale. I never tell anybody about this but have told my husband bits and peices never going into real detail about any of it. It was so bad I am to embarrassed to even tell my husband what monster Dale was and how pathetic I was with my fears and submission to him.
The threat of a spanking was enough to make me like a saint around him but the more I began to develop the more intrusions I had in the bathroom and my bedroom. I was between 11 and 12 when my mother got a part time job as a waitress. Dale began what he called inspections and would come in my room to make sure everything was clean and in its proper place. He not only did that but would make me take my clothes off to inspect my body. He didn't touch me but made me stand naked while he walked around me then he made me lay on the bed. The only psrt of me he touched was my feet and would open my toes telling me he wanted me clean. Then, I believe to intentionally humiliate me, would make me lay on the bed. First on my back bending my knees up and opening my vigina lips with my fingers always telling me how important it is to keep that part of my body clean. Then I had to get on my knees bending over and opening the cheeks of my butt exposing my anus to him in the pretence of cleanliness. He did this to me 1 or 2 times a week, mostly while my mother was working in the evenings and when it first began I thought he just wanted to embarrass me. I was pretty stupid because I know it was more than likely done for his own sexual arousement. When he did this he was always in his boxers and as I got a little older I began to see he would have erections most of the time. The enemas continued twice a month as did the suprise inspections and if he did consider my body dirty he would make me get a bath and watch me wash myself. By the time I was 13 my breasts were developing and I had pubic hair but still was to afaird and intimadated by Dale to to object, knowing I would lose any argument and receive a beating from him. One night he came in my room and while looking for a mess somewhere just told me to take off my clothes again. He did the typical inspecting of my body then ordered me into the bathroom where he made me take a bath, telling me my feet were dirty. He watched me wash myself then handed me his razor and insisted I shave my pubic hair telling me it was not sanitary and telling me he shaved his which I already knew from seeing him naked so often. As I shaved myself he told me my mother did also and that I was welcome to ask her about it, which I never did. From then on he determined when I needed to shave and this kept on taking place weekly along with the enemas and occassional spankings without my mothers intervention. Dales nudity around me never stopped and during my teeage years I was more aware when he had an erection. When I think back on those years I'm aware now that it affected me mentally and to a degree believe he had me somewhat brain washed. Today things are different than they were in the 1970's. Kids are more aware of things because child abuse is more out in the open. Back then it wasn't spoken about nearly as much as it is today. I did tell my grandmother about most of these things when I lived with her a short time but nothing was ever done about it aside from my grandmother and mother not getting along afterwards. When I went into the Air Force I didn't speak or see my mother for 15 years and never saw Dale again. I do talk to her today but seldom and rarely see her and still blame her for what transpired all those years. Dale died in 2008 and from what I have heard hardly anyone showed up at his funeral. When I think back it was a rare day when anyone visited our house back then and doubt if Dale really had any friends. I did meet his mother a couple times but she lived far away in Memphis. I never got married until I was 36 and I am sure because of Dale I never had sex with a guy until I was 24 years old. It took me years to get over Dale's abuse of me and I still think about all the things he subjected me to and the ways he humiliated me. It was so degrading at the time I don't think I fully understood he was doing this to me to satisfy himself and I do consider it sexual abuse. Aside from being a phile I now realize he was also an exibitionist. I don't think I can ever forgive my mother completely since she allowed this to continue and had to know Dale was abusing me. I'm sure she was unaware of some of it because when Dale was doing all these things we were always alone and my mother was always told to stay downstairs. I also should have been more vocal about it with my mother but fear of Dale caused me to keep silent and to afraid to say anything. I did speak to my mother about it several times after Dale died but she acts like she didn't know or wasn't aware of most of it, but I think she is lying to me. When I finally ran away was shortly after a week of total misery. My mother worked extra evenings filling in for one of the other waitresses. Three nights in a row he came in my room for those inspections makeing me bathe twice and the second night making me shave. Everytime I shaved my pubic hair he watched me and mad me stand up in the tub. He always had me sit back down in the water to rense off then would look to see if I missed a spot, which I did often. The third night he gave me an enema and after he washed me anus area he followed me back to my bedroom and gave me a spanking that was one of the most brutal I ever had, and for no good reason. The next day I took money from my mother purse and bought a bus ticket to my grandmothers house. After I talked to her for awhile telling her things she got into a big argumrnt with my mother on the phone. It went on for days with phone calls back and forth and finally it was agreed I stay with my grandmother. I got my high school equivilency and a year orso after joined the Air Force and finally free of Dale. I never tell anybody about this but have told my husband bits and peices never going into real detail about any of it. It was so bad I am to embarrassed to even tell my husband what monster Dale was and how pathetic I was with my fears and submission to him.
