Straight Male / 45
Fun weekend but not much different than any other. I am still searching and not completely happy. Not sure if it will ever happen.
Wife and I are swingers in a open relationship. Friday we went to a insane party that was really just a big orgy. I played with my wife and 3 other ladies. We were leaving and a particular lady caught my eye. She had the body of a 20 year old and the looks to match (she was 38). So I hit her up, had some fun, than took the wife home.
Saturday morning the wife and I played and both went to work. We are married 20+ years so its a little more routine but still always fun. We share the love and history that will never be experienced at parties. The only way to describe it is a soul mate vs a yearning.
Saturday night I spent 6 hours with a fwb. I really love her also and we have been playing together for almost a year. Never going to progress since we are both married with kids but we do enjoy each other. She is the naughty girl that I pull the whips out with, play dirty, spank, and fulfill every dream and fantasy with. Since its planed time alone we enjoy each other multiple times while the wife and I dont always get that time with the kids still at home.
This morning (Sunday) the wife and I woke up and played. We ended up cuddling after and really had a good time. She is my life mate, I am hers. I am writing this and than going up stairs to play with her again (hopefully)(she went to bed). We went out to a family party earlier and couldn't keep our hands off each other.
So here is my complaint. I get all the sex I want, played with 5 people this weekend. That's actually low numbers for me but had quality on Saturday night and Sunday morning. I enjoy sex, enjoy romance, but am still searching. Not sure what for. Do I want a commitment or a sexy slut like my FWB?? Not sure if its my upbringing or life's philosophy but at some point shouldn't I be happy??
Almost every other weekend I will play with 10+ people since a friend throws swingers parties and I like to enjoy all the ladies. This was the off weekend and our Thursday night couples party was switched to a Friday night orgy. In a average month I probably have relations with 40 people. But I am still lonely and searching. What is wrong with me?? Living the dream and not happy. Should I see a psychiatrist or be happy I am playing with a lot of fun ladies??
Just to put everyone's mind at ease, my wife and I are Christians, always play safe, and do get frequent std checks. She cuddles more, usually with the same few guys so probably only plays with 8-10 guys a month. We are still in love, have great sex, and know we are together forever.
Will I ever be happy??
Wife and I are swingers in a open relationship. Friday we went to a insane party that was really just a big orgy. I played with my wife and 3 other ladies. We were leaving and a particular lady caught my eye. She had the body of a 20 year old and the looks to match (she was 38). So I hit her up, had some fun, than took the wife home.
Saturday morning the wife and I played and both went to work. We are married 20+ years so its a little more routine but still always fun. We share the love and history that will never be experienced at parties. The only way to describe it is a soul mate vs a yearning.
Saturday night I spent 6 hours with a fwb. I really love her also and we have been playing together for almost a year. Never going to progress since we are both married with kids but we do enjoy each other. She is the naughty girl that I pull the whips out with, play dirty, spank, and fulfill every dream and fantasy with. Since its planed time alone we enjoy each other multiple times while the wife and I dont always get that time with the kids still at home.
This morning (Sunday) the wife and I woke up and played. We ended up cuddling after and really had a good time. She is my life mate, I am hers. I am writing this and than going up stairs to play with her again (hopefully)(she went to bed). We went out to a family party earlier and couldn't keep our hands off each other.
So here is my complaint. I get all the sex I want, played with 5 people this weekend. That's actually low numbers for me but had quality on Saturday night and Sunday morning. I enjoy sex, enjoy romance, but am still searching. Not sure what for. Do I want a commitment or a sexy slut like my FWB?? Not sure if its my upbringing or life's philosophy but at some point shouldn't I be happy??
Almost every other weekend I will play with 10+ people since a friend throws swingers parties and I like to enjoy all the ladies. This was the off weekend and our Thursday night couples party was switched to a Friday night orgy. In a average month I probably have relations with 40 people. But I am still lonely and searching. What is wrong with me?? Living the dream and not happy. Should I see a psychiatrist or be happy I am playing with a lot of fun ladies??
Just to put everyone's mind at ease, my wife and I are Christians, always play safe, and do get frequent std checks. She cuddles more, usually with the same few guys so probably only plays with 8-10 guys a month. We are still in love, have great sex, and know we are together forever.
Will I ever be happy??
