I cannot make my mind up if my husband is being serious about his suggestion, or if he's just trying to catch me out.

I'll start by saying I love my husband and used to adore the sex we had. Things changed physically between us after his stroke. As before his illness, we'd probably have the horny type of anything goes sex, at least one a day. Afterwards and continuing upto today, we only have sex from my point of view (In other words I face sit my husband) as he can longer get or maintain an erection.

Three weeks ago after we'd just retired to bed, my husband asked me if I missed the dirty sordid sex we had. I didn't lie to him, I told him I did, but that I would make do with the two dildos we'd bought over the internet for that part of what I miss.

Now to why I'm here. He responded by saying "I'd like you to find a guy you like and have him visit you here, I'd like you to enjoy the kind of sex you adore again, but I'd like to be there when you fuck him".

There was absolutely no build up to what he said. Nor did he waiver when I asked him to repeat what he intended for me to do. In a more matter of fact way my husband just said "I want to watch you being fucked", then quickly added "Because I love you too much for you not to have real sex again".

The reason I'm confessing at this present time, is my husband has said he'd been speaking to an older guy on the internet this past couple of months (Even before he mentioned anything to me three weeks ago). And that he thinks I'd "Enjoy his company", as he put it. I've now seen pictures of this guy, although I haven't spoken to him directly myself, I cannot deny looking at the naked pictures showing his large fully erect cock he's sent to us, that I'm not sexually attracted to him.

The questions are, is my husband testing out my love for him ?. And if he really does want me to have sex with this guy, will our relatioship ever be the same again ?.