Straight Male / 18
Before I start I want to say that I am actually 16yrs old. I shouldn't be here but I want to confess.
I have (honestly) been struggling to stop watching bullshit porn and stop masturbating. I have also been very confused about my true sexuality. I want to say that what I confess is hard for me. It is a dream that I've had the opportunity to realize but pussied out. OK I'm ready to confess now.
I am still in school.
My problem is that I have watched a lot of porn starting at a young age. (When I was like 9 my brother showed me). The thing is that I want to stop but I always get back on it. I seriously wish I'd never been introduced to fucking porn. (Except that foot fetish thing, it's amazingly sexy). I believe that I am not a homosexual because I do not feel an emotional attraction to other guys at my school. I only have a stupid dream that (honestly) I would rather die than trying it completely.
I have shared a story here before and actually left my Kik for anyone who wished to discuss with me the problem I was going through. I don't want to give too much info about myself though. I will get to the explanation of the dream now.
Last year this kid that was in my classroom started asking me (playing around) if I would suck his dick for 20 dollars. I had known him for 2 years already. He has two ways. He can be cool, friendly and funny OR he can be a TOTAL dick and asshole. So he asked me a couple times but we would laugh it off.
The thing is that I started to think more and more about it and before I knew it I was masturbating to imaginings of me being with him.
He had stopped asking me and I started to ask him now. I asked him that I would not only suck his dick for FREE but I would do whatever he wanted.
So one day when we both had after school detention I told him that I would see him after school in the bathrooms. There were not many people after school so we had more privacy.
Right after detention we both went into the bathroom. My plan was this. I would suck his dick and swallow his hot cum. After that I would sit on his dick with my back facing him.
The whole thing went TOTALLY different. I originally was curious to see how far he would go. The only thing that we did was that we took out each others dicks and looked at each others dicks. I seriously wanted to go farther but I was very nervous and I was shacking. I remember I told him to put it in my butt. I fucked up the situation by saying that what we were doing was wrong. After I said that he got mad and told me to keep going but I just was too nervous to keep going. I went to the stall next to his and jerked off. I remember he said that's all u do. After he heard me jerking off he left and I was too scared to call him back in.
I still see him at school but I don't think about him like that so much. I will say this though. I recently started to think about him like that again like crazy. My dream is to meet another opportunity like the one last year but with him. The thing is that I wish to complete it this time. The problem is that one side in me is telling me that it is wrong while another is telling me to go and complete my fantasie.
I wish to see him again after school in the bathrooms and offer him an apology along with several sexual offers that will compensate him for me lying to him.
I posted a story about the same thing described here a while ago but with less detail and much much shorter.
That story had several comments and it was the one where I met a guy who texted me over Kik saying that he had a similar experience when he was my age. The guy happens to be GAY and married with another man. After texting with him a while I figured out that he is a nice guy.
This is my confession for today people. I would really much appreciate comments about any questions any of y'all might have. Thanks for reading my confession. Have a good day or night.
I have (honestly) been struggling to stop watching bullshit porn and stop masturbating. I have also been very confused about my true sexuality. I want to say that what I confess is hard for me. It is a dream that I've had the opportunity to realize but pussied out. OK I'm ready to confess now.
I am still in school.
My problem is that I have watched a lot of porn starting at a young age. (When I was like 9 my brother showed me). The thing is that I want to stop but I always get back on it. I seriously wish I'd never been introduced to fucking porn. (Except that foot fetish thing, it's amazingly sexy). I believe that I am not a homosexual because I do not feel an emotional attraction to other guys at my school. I only have a stupid dream that (honestly) I would rather die than trying it completely.
I have shared a story here before and actually left my Kik for anyone who wished to discuss with me the problem I was going through. I don't want to give too much info about myself though. I will get to the explanation of the dream now.
Last year this kid that was in my classroom started asking me (playing around) if I would suck his dick for 20 dollars. I had known him for 2 years already. He has two ways. He can be cool, friendly and funny OR he can be a TOTAL dick and asshole. So he asked me a couple times but we would laugh it off.
The thing is that I started to think more and more about it and before I knew it I was masturbating to imaginings of me being with him.
He had stopped asking me and I started to ask him now. I asked him that I would not only suck his dick for FREE but I would do whatever he wanted.
So one day when we both had after school detention I told him that I would see him after school in the bathrooms. There were not many people after school so we had more privacy.
Right after detention we both went into the bathroom. My plan was this. I would suck his dick and swallow his hot cum. After that I would sit on his dick with my back facing him.
The whole thing went TOTALLY different. I originally was curious to see how far he would go. The only thing that we did was that we took out each others dicks and looked at each others dicks. I seriously wanted to go farther but I was very nervous and I was shacking. I remember I told him to put it in my butt. I fucked up the situation by saying that what we were doing was wrong. After I said that he got mad and told me to keep going but I just was too nervous to keep going. I went to the stall next to his and jerked off. I remember he said that's all u do. After he heard me jerking off he left and I was too scared to call him back in.
I still see him at school but I don't think about him like that so much. I will say this though. I recently started to think about him like that again like crazy. My dream is to meet another opportunity like the one last year but with him. The thing is that I wish to complete it this time. The problem is that one side in me is telling me that it is wrong while another is telling me to go and complete my fantasie.
I wish to see him again after school in the bathrooms and offer him an apology along with several sexual offers that will compensate him for me lying to him.
I posted a story about the same thing described here a while ago but with less detail and much much shorter.
That story had several comments and it was the one where I met a guy who texted me over Kik saying that he had a similar experience when he was my age. The guy happens to be GAY and married with another man. After texting with him a while I figured out that he is a nice guy.
This is my confession for today people. I would really much appreciate comments about any questions any of y'all might have. Thanks for reading my confession. Have a good day or night.
