I'm 40 years old. About as normal as you could expect, or whatever you'd consider normal. I work a regular job, I'm now married with kids. I watch sports. I like riding my bike, and taking my dog for a walk. I have some fantasies, some off the wall fetishes and interests, but I don't pursue them. My wife and I have a pretty solid sex life. Before me, she was in a couple of solid relationships, and the same for me. Before her, I had my share, enjoyed a good healthy life, and even being 40, I still love to fuck. I get off on oral sex, I love eating her pussy, and I honestly love the feeling of blowing inside her. Sometimes in the shower, she'll get off, I'll get her off, and she'll jerk me off or whatever we happen to do. At times, later on, we'll do more, and end up fucking somewhere in the house. It's pretty intense. I enjoy it, and thankfully we've managed to make it work through the years.

But I wanted to post something on here and share something about my past that I've only told one person in my life. She's one of my best friends, and she understands me. But I also know she's about as non judgmental and dirty minded as anyone, so it wouldn't terribly gross her out, or make her stop talking to me. Thankfully. Because this is kind of fucked up, and it's about as off as you can get. But being on here, it's not like anyone knows me, or really gives a shit.

When I was a younger kid, I don't know what came upon me about 10 or so. I started jerking off. And I mean a lot. I would do it under my covers. I'd do it in the shower. I would use socks. I'd get my dad's playboy magazines and stuff up in the bathroom, go up there, and I'd do my business. I have no clue what overcame me, but it just started one day, and it never stopped. Even now, when I don't have sex, I will masturbate 8 or 9 times a week. I went to a therapist years ago, and actually was asked if I was sexually m****ted. I swore up and down no, but she said it's entirely possible that it happened before I remember it. I can't believe my folks or someone would do that, but I guess anything is possible. She said my overactive sex drive is not normal.

By the time I was 13, I'd spent the better part of a year trying to figure out how to have sex. I didn't even care with who. I'm not kidding. My brother was 15, and he told me about his encounters. One time when my mom and dad were gone, and my aunt who lived with us was visiting some friends, my brother let me secretly watch him and his girlfriend have sex. It was pretty intense, especially for a kid my age. So I started trying to come up with plans to make that happen. Little did I know it would eventually happen sooner than I thought, right in my own house.

About 6 months later, my sister and I were talking. She's 12, a year younger than me, and I know it's gross, but I even started looking at her in a different way. Not as a sister, but a girl. She was already growing a body beyond her age, and I could see it. My brother even would make jokes about her boobs. One night, I was in my room in the basement, and my sister came down. We'd always been really close, playing office, hanging out, and riding our bikes. She said she wanted to talk to me. So I said yes. And she says to me "well uh, I saw Mark and his girlfriend, you know, doing stuff" I said what stuff. And she told me. It took her a long time, and she finally showed me. I told her it was sex. She said she'd never seen that, and it looked different. I asked if she liked it. And she actually said yes. She said she liked what it looked like, and she said that his girlfriend looked an sounded like she really liked it. She said that our brother Mark really really liked how it felt, and he kept telling her it felt so amazing and so incredible. And she looked at me and asked if I'd ever done it. I said no. And I didn't lie. I said I wanted to, but never could find someone that would or had interest. My sister looked at me and said well I guess I'd do it with you if you want. I looked at her and said but you're my sister. Brothers and sisters don't do that stuff. She just said OH. And said well I won't tell nobody, I mean, I thought it looked like it felt good and all, and well, I kinda wanna know what it's like. And you said you do, so you know, well I thought.

I guess I didn't think too much about it at the time, considering this was a long time ago, and I didn't know if any others had ever done this stuff with someone in their family, but I looked at her and said sure. She said you'd do it? I said yes. I'd do it. And I asked her how she wanted to. She just shrugged and said well I saw what Mark and Connie did. So I guess I'd probably wanna do it like that. I didn't know much more than what I'd seen, naked girls in playboy, and jerking off and getting myself feeling good. But figured it was something to try. And I didn't think anyone would find out, or at least really didn't think about it.

I told her we'd do what she saw them doing, and what I saw them doing. So I started kissing her. She said it felt weird, kissing her own brother on the mouth. I said well that's what guys and girls do, you know when they're gonna do it. And I told her she could stop anytime she wanted to. She said no. She didn't wanna stop. Well, having jerked off for 3 years, I felt my dick growing harder. She felt it, and asked what it was. I told her what she saw Mark doing. And she said Oh. You're getting like that? I said yes. And she said OK. Well, after kissing a bit, I told her that was when we needed to take our clothes off. I asked her to make sure mom and dad were sleeping. She went up, and came down a few minutes later, and said yeah.

We started undressing. And I remember looking at her standing there after taking her pajama top off and then pulling down her pajama bottoms. I saw her boobs, already really big for her age. Kind of a big stomach, and I saw her pull her underwear down. She stood there with no clothes on, and said this is what she saw Connie. I said yeah. I saw it too. And I pulled down my pajama bottoms, and took off my top. I told her that this is what I saw going on. And she said that it looked like it was time that we do stuff together. I said yeah.

We were kissing and stuff, and we started touching. She put her hand on me, and started touching it. And she jerked back, telling me it was all sticky. I explained to her what I do alone, and she said she didn't know people did that. I said yes. I said I heard girls do it too, and it gets all wet down there and it makes them feel good. I told her I saw Mark and Connie doing it, and that's how Mark was able to do it with her. And my sister said that maybe she should do it too, so if that's how it worked? I said OK.

She stood there with nothing on, and started touching down there. I stood there and said I'd show her what I did. And I started touching myself, getting really hard. I knew what it felt like, when I was going to squirt, so I slowed down. And I saw her say well it's really wet down there. It feels really nice. Do you wanna touch it? I said yes. I looked, and I was touching her pussy hair. I kept touching really soft, and then I pushed my fingers up inside it, and felt her. She moved a little, and I started rubbing it. She kind of made a little noise, and said it felt really really good, so I kept touching her down there. When she started moving a little, I asked her if she was OK. And she said yes. She said it's really tingly, and it's tickling down there. She's never felt it like that. I said that we could do more if she wanted, and she said yes. I told her we'd probably have to do what Mark and Connie did. We'd have to crawl up on my bed.

My sister crawled up on my bed, and was on her back and said she didn't know what to do. I told her what she saw Mark do. She said Connie spread her legs really wide, and Mark put his thing inside her. I said that's what I saw. And I told her that I saw Mark do it, and he would push it in her, and pull it out, and push it in again, and pull it out. And she said when I do things myself, and I make a mess, how do I do it if I'm having sex with her? I said well, I'd seen Mark do it, and I think from looking at it, I think he does it like in her down there. My sister looked and said OK. She asked me what I saw, if it was like that with her, when he was done, he like came out of her, and his thing was really small and soft. I said yes. That's what happens when a guy masturbates. When he squirts sperm out and stuff, he stops being hard, and it takes him a bit to get there again. So when he's pulling out of her, he must do it inside her when he's down there. She said that's what we have to do if it's like that.

I put it in her a little. And I pushed. It was really tight. She made a noise. Said it hurt. I pushed a little more. And she said it didn't hurt as bad. I pushed even more. And watching, I saw it go all the way inside her like two minutes later. I was looking down, and saw my dick inside her pussy hair, and it was all the way inside her. I laid there for a second, and asked her how it felt. She said it felt really big and kind of squeezing down there. I told her this is what Mark and Connie did. And I said that we could do all that they do, and she said yes. I started to push, and then I'd pull out, like we saw them doing, and a couple of minutes later, doing it, she said it felt really good, and she liked it. And I felt it ready, like when I was going to jerk off and make myself go off. I told her that if I kept pushing like that, I was going to make a sticky mess. She laid there on her back, and I was touching her boobs. I started to play with them with my hands a little bit, and was pushing it down inside her, and I told her I was gonna do it if I didn't stop. She said no, to not stop, and go ahead and do it.

About a minute later, I felt it squirting from the end and shooting up inside her. It kept going. I was making a noise, and kept going and going. And it finally stopped. I just kind of stopped, and I pulled it out of her. I saw it dripping off the end a bit, and I told her that I was all done.

She sat up, and kind of looked at me. She said to me that's what guys and girls do? I liked it. It kind of hurt. But it felt really nice afterwards. She stood up, and she was all sticky. She said she wasn't sure what to do. I told her I thought we had to get dressed like Mark and Connie did, and I'd seen them go into the bathroom and clean up their mess. So we snuck upstairs, and went into our only bathroom and we cleaned up and used a wash cloth to wipe up and stuff.

She went to bed, and I went into my own bed. But that wasn't the only time we did stuff like that. Over the next 6 or 7 months, we'd done it a couple more times. Until we started hearing people talk about getting pregnant, sperm, and eggs, and sex talk. And then we started listening to my mom and dad, and telling my brother to uee protection. I asked my brother, and remember him showing me condoms back then. That's when they weren't as easy to get. He told me that he'd had an older friend get them. I didn't know if I was able to. The first couple times after that, I stole some of his, and my sister and I did it a few times. There were times when we touched each other and would just make each other get off. By the time I hit high school, we'd put a stop to it, afraid people would find out, or something would happen.

I'm still close with her. And ironic, we've talked about it a few times through the years, but even now? I still fantasize what it would be like with her now. She has two kids, and she's a couple years younger than I am, and I'm curious how she'd be to fuck after all these years, knowing that she has experience, and she's still really damn good looking.