I know people will probably laugh about this, but it's the truth. I'm 44 years old, divorced with two kids, and I have a sex drive worse now than I ever did in the past. It literally won't stop. But what makes it worse is my addiction to porn, watching younger girls masturbate, and I've found some pretty intense video online of guys fucking girls and watching the guy blow his load in her. I'm not by any means into guys, but there is something about watching a guy fuck some girl intensely, and seeing his cock throb, thrust, his balls shake, and him empty himself into her. There is one in particular that I found, about a year ago, that literally is about as intense and personal as you can get, up close, watching him pull out, slide back in her, slide through her pussy hair, enter her, and you can see his ass shake. And then he's slowly fucking her, and you can hear him say "Oh God I'm gonna cum" and he does it. You can watch his cock throb, and his balls empty. And then a few minutes later, He pulls out, and a huge amount of cum drips out of her pussy. It is one of the most sexually intense videos that I have ever found.

I found another one the other day that I watch at least 4-5 times a week. It's a guy that's probably about 40. And the video claims the girls is 18, but there is no way. Looking at her small stomach that shakes when he enters her, looking at her small round boobs, and the way that her body is built, and the smaller nipples, she looks about 14 or so. And I know it's really wrong and nasty, but I found it online, and I love watching it. She is a willing participant. They are heavily into kissing, a lot of making out, a lot of touching, and then he slowly gets her on the bed. I can watch him wrap his normal sized cock into a condom, and then as she's laying on her back, gently enter her. It takes a long time to get himself all the way up in her. And it lasts probably about 5 minutes.

He's thrusting slowly in and out of her, pulling out, and then you can hear him say "I'm going to cum" and he does it. He goes, I can see his ass shake, and then a few minutes later, she's laying there panting for breath. He pulls his limp cock out, and the condom is full.

I'd never been into anything like that in my life. Until my divorce and the life changes, I thought I had it pretty normal. After watching all of these videos, I did something that I've never done. I really got off on watching the stuff with guys/girls, and a lot of cumming. A couple of days ago, my daughter's friend was spending the night (they're in college, going to the local community college), their boyfriends were over hanging out. And I heard them talk about seeing if they could crash at my house for the night. I hadn't said anything about hearing it, but when my daughter came up to me, and asked about it, I said yeah. I told her that her friend Chris and Kayla could sleep downstairs in the den on the couch bed. It wasn't a big deal. My daughter was upstairs in her room sleeping later in the evening, when I heard Chris and Kayla downstairs. I heard Kayla say "we can't do that. Not with her dad upstairs. Come on" I walked down, pretending to have to get something, and I know I interrupted them. I said "whoops, sorry" and it was funny, because Chris said to me "Sorry. I didn't mean to you know, get all crazy in your house. I don't mean to insult you or anything". And I just looked at him and said with a laugh "It wouldn't be anything I haven't done or seen before, don't worry about it. Enjoy it". She looked at him. He looked at her, and I discovered it was something they'd been curious about, especially when Kayla said to me "really? Like as you've seen it?" I shrugged and said I wasn't always innocent. Why? And she said she didn't know about that, but she said they'd always had a kink about letting someone watch. I said well sure. It's everyone's fantasy. And Kayla looks at me, and says not to be nasty or freaky, but you wanna? I looked at her, knowing what she was asking. And she said to me "You wanna watch?" I just looked at the two of them, and said yeah, well I'd be down for that.

They started getting into it. And I'm talking heavy making out, a lot of foreplay, a lot of kissing, a lot of touching, and the clothes started coming off. Chris looked over at me, and I smiled. Didn't say anything. I'd never done anything like that before. Well, they get into it, clothes start coming off, and I'm staring at Kayla's cute petite little ass, and her small little tits. He's getting his clothes off, and gets to his boxers. And hesitates. She says what's up? And he said nothing and pulls them off. Not terribly big. I mean, as big as I am, about 6 or 7 inches hard. Kind of big around. He's not a big dude, but I thought it was hot as fuck watching them go at it. He's finger fucking her, getting into it, and gets her off. She starts gasping. He's going at it pretty good, and he's got her going strong. She finally finishes, lays there, and he says to her "wanna help me?" and she says to him well sure. And starts going down on him. I'm sitting on the couch, watching her suck on his cock, and I felt myself getting turned on. And she stops. He lays there. And he says to me "It's gonna sound fucked up and warped, but can I ask you something?" I said sure. And he said "we'd talked about it. And it's a huge fantasy." I said OK? And he says to me "I just got her off. She wants to suck me off, and let you fuck her". I about blew it right there. I said "excuse me?" and he says to me "Yeah. We've had a fantasy fuck talk about this. Rather than me going off on her or in her, we've had this fantasy talk, but we don't trust just anyone to do it. So if you're up for it?" I was shaking. Seriously. Here is this teenage girl, skinny petite little body, and my sex drive is going fucking crazy.

I said well yeah, if you're into it. I mean, it's a bit different. I've never done it before, but well uh yeah, sure, you know if it stays between us. And Kayla laughs and says "oh shit. I can't imagine telling anyone what we're talking about doing. You know, I'd never want my friends knowing I'm into the off the wall shit like this" and I just laughed. I sat there, not sure if they'd really do it. Until Chris lays back, and Kayla starts sucking on him. And she looks at me, stops, and says "are you ready to go when I'm done?" I laughed and said "Oh yeah" and she smiled and put his cock in her mouth.

She looked at me. I pulled off my shorts and my underwear. Her eyes got big as she saw my stiff dick, while I'm sitting on the couch. And she's got him going off. And about 5 minutes later, I hear him go "oh fuck. I'm gonna fucking blow" and he did it. I could see his hips thrusting, his ass jerking, and I could see his chest pulsing. She's swallowing it as quick as he's squirting it. It kept going for a few minutes. And he lays back. He's laying there, his dick all limp. She rolls over sideways, and says she's ready. I didn't even think twice. Chris was laying there, and as I climbed onto the couch, he sat up to see me stuff my cock right inside his girlfriend's pussy. I thrust it in, heard her gasp, and say "sweet Jesus" and I just pushed farther. It went all the way in. I'm going inside her, pull out, look at my dick soaking wet, sliding inside her pussy hair, and I said to her "how do you want me to do it?" and she gasped, and said " fuck I'm gonna cum" and off she went. It was intense. Shaking her body. I kept sliding slowly. And she finally stopped.

Chris was staring at me, fucking her, and I asked again. And I heard Kayla say "sweet God. Do it. When you're ready, just let go. I'll let you do it in me if you wanna" and I thrust in a couple of times, and I said to her "holy fuck I'm gonna" I felt her hands on my ass, and I blew. I'm talking I majorly blew. I emptied my cock inside her skinny little pussy, and I kept squirting. I didn't think the cum would stop. When I was finally empty, my balls completely void, I just gasped, and went "holy shit". I didn't know what to say.

She was laying there, Chris staring at me, and he says to me "goddamn dude, that was hot as fuck." and he just smiled. I'm leaning into his girlfriend, who's full of my cum, and I moved off. I sat there kind of awkwardly, and said "well uh yeah, I'll let you guys get to what you were doing. I guess" and she sat up and says to me "thanks. That was intense as hell"

As I'm getting dressed and heading upstairs, my head is rattling, thinking yeah, I just fucked my daughter's friend, while her boyfriend is watching. Until I heard Kayla say "you wanna fuck me?" and Chris says "after that? God yes. I'm horny." and all I'm thinking going upstairs is, this guy is gonna fuck his girlfriend that's been cum in by me. Probably among the dirtiest things I've ever done.

Funniest part, I went upstairs about a half hour later, and jerked off to some more porn that night. I can't control it. It's fucked up. My sex drive is horrible. And after typing this, I'm going to jerk off again. I really desperately want to watch the porn that has the young chick and guy with a condom on his cock, and watch him get off, thinking about fucking Kayla and cumming in that little pussy.

Goodnight.