I got married right after I graduated college. I honestly thought the guy I married was "the one". We have a daughter, who is an awesome kid, and I love her more than anything. The problem is, my husband has gotten really lame as he's gotten older. I'm 23, and he's 30. So yeah, the age isn't much of a big deal. But as he's gotten older, he's said "age" has made him slow down, "age" has made him lose his ambition towards sex compared to what we'd done in the past, and that his long hours/job makes it really rough to try to get through stuff. He's a good dude, don't get me wrong. We do well, make good money and all, but I want so much more. I don't want to just do the same shit over and over again.

I'd been with a couple of guys in high school, and I'd been with a couple in college, but when I was with someone, I was with them. That's it. Just me and them. I didn't fuck around, didn't jump from one guy to another or do anything stupid. Just not me. I didn't want to get stupid or end up hooking up with the wrong guy or something. Yeah, so not going there.

Well, I'd put up with my marriage, even though we were "happy" and all that, getting along good, but I missed the fooling around, the making out whenever we wanted, doing crazy stuff all over the house, sometimes even stopping our car and getting going in the back seat, in the woods and just doing stupid. It was great. And then later in our relationship? It stopped being great. Maybe that's why I did some of what I did. I feel kind of shitty about it, but it was so amazing, crazy and just off the wall, and I think I wanted to try something new.

I was at home one night, and my cousin called. He wanted to get together to do some stuff, get some clothes, and buy some stuff for his sister (I call her my cousin too), so I said yeah. My husband was gone out of town, my daughter was with her grandparents, and a couple of my friends were out drinking (I wasn't up for it), so I figured I'd just chill with someone. He's older by about 12-13 years, and his sister is just a couple years older than me. It's all good.

We hung out at his apartment for awhile, went to the mall, got some stuff for her birthday, and went out and had a great dinner. We ended up back at his apartment, and he asked me about going home. I told him I was solo for the night, so he asked if I wanted to chill with a movie. Thought it was a good idea. We ended up sitting on the couch, my legs across his lap. We'd always gotten along good, so it wasn't weird. Until he started with his hands on my leg, leaning back. Made it just kind of casual. Made my legs tingle. While watching the movie, not saying a word, his hands moved. I didn't say anything. A bit freaked, not sure what he was doing, but just laid there pretending to not notice. Until about 15 minutes later, his hands were almost between my legs up on my thighs. I had on leggings, a sweat shirt, and just chill clothes. He kept creeping his hands up my legs, and it was weird. I started getting turned on. He wasn't even looking at me. Kept moving. And then I felt it. His hand on the band of my waist. Moving really slow. I still didn't say anything. Not until his hand was inside my leggings, right down on my panties, and started rubbing. It turned me the fuck on. Instant. I know I moaned, because his fingers went inside my panties. Then I heard him say "holy God" I looked at him and said "well you didn't expect me to just sit there and not get excited with you going off and m****ting me". He stopped, his face all red, and said "shit Julie, I'm sorry". I just laughed and said "if I didn't want it, I would have stopped it". He looked at me. And said "and?" I said "I didn't, did I?"

He moved over. I didn't say anything. He kept moving over. And I slid my hands down in his lap. Looked at him and said "well what have we here?" and he just kind of laughed. I leaned in. Looked at him. And the kiss lasted about 5 minutes. When it was over, I just looked at him and said "Yes." and he said "what?" so I just said "Yes. Right now. I know what you're trying to do. And yes". He finally stopped, and said "what about?" and I stopped him and said let's not talk about that.

He looked down the hall. And I said "yes". We ended up in his bedroom. Very hot making out, a lot of touching, fingering, undressing, and getting all worked up. It went forever. He spread me out, looked at me, and I nodded. The best oral sex I had ever had. Better than my husband had ever done in his life. Ever.. I was so wet and so turned on, I didn't even realize, with my eyes closed, panting and breathing, that he'd moved off me, and slipped inside me. I felt it instantly. The first guy to ever be with me since I'd been with my husband. He took his time. He got me off three different times in different ways while fucking me slowly. And stopped. Said to me "I should have asked" and I just nodded and said "It's good. No fear" and he continued on. A couple of minutes later, I felt it building. And out of the blue he said "I want to. I so want to" and I pulled. He came. Hard. Really hard. He was breathing, he was gasping and he kept pushing really hard and rough. I felt it all.

When he finished, he collapsed. Laid on me. And I'm thinking "jesus, this guy is almost 10 years older than me. And he's this good? Better than my husband has ever been". We ended up laying there in a blanket. Talked for quite a bit. And without a word, his hands started moving again. I felt it. He did it to me again.

We ended up doing it a second time on his bed. It lasted almost as long as the first time. And when we were done, he looked at me and said "what happens now". I just shrugged and said "I'm not sure. I really am not sure. Let's see where it goes"..

We've talked a couple of times since then. Married or not, I don't want this to stop. But he hasn't pushed. He hasn't said much. Awkward. And I really want it again. The last two times with my husband did nothing. He got off. I didn't. He mentioned nothing. He suspected nothing. And I want more.