Recently my mom passed away after a long fight with heart problems. My step dad Ian was fantastic throughout and his total devotion to my mom was extremely endearing to me. His care and attention of my mother brought us closer together and in secret I found myself thinking of him sexually.
My mom was forty seven when she died. Ian is six years younger than my mom and through his job working at a health and fitness centre, he's very fit and toned. I began to really notice his muscular body and his manly scent when we were close. And at one point I almost leant into him to kiss him passionately, not long after we'd put my mom to bed one evening.
Mom asked me before she died to sort her things out, and to give most of it to charity, something she was passionate about. She asked me specifically to go through her wildlife dvds, something she also loved, and to keep "Any you find personal".
I waited until Ian was back at work, not wanting to upset him, then did as she'd asked. Eventually I got the dvd's and started to sort through them. Finding three without covers or explanations of what was on them, I played the first and was immediately stunned. Straight away the dvd showed my mother in their bedroom naked and she was having sex with Ian and another man. Turning it off, I wondered why she'd wanted me to find them.
Removing them, I waited for over a month before playing another one at my own apartment. This one showed Ian only. It was obvious my mom was shooting it and it had Ian posing naked. He oiled himself as he posed for the camera laughing and then began to stroke his large semi erect cock. Mom zoomed in and I watched with complete fascination as my step father masturbated for the camera.
I realised by the time it had finished, I was completely aroused and had been touching myself through my panties. Putting on the third dvd I again saw my mom and Ian having sex, only this time it was on their own. Even though my mom was having sex with a man who isn't my father, watching it was so emotional for me in two ways, seeing my mother alive and also being incredibly turned on by watching Ian muscular form sexing my mom.
I couldn't help myself, putting my hand inside my panties I rubbed my clit as I focused on Ians body, but especially his cock as they made love. Bringing myself to orgasm, I shook with such an intense feeling of loss, love and longing.
That was two months ago. I've watched the dvd with Ian on his own countless times since and masturbated each time. We see each other almost every day as I or he visit one another. In my mind I know I shouldn't want him sexually as bad as I do, but in my heart and sex, I want him to seduce me, to make love to me, to fuck me.
I haven't told him I've got the dvds, but next week he's staying over, something he suggested to me last week. There wasn't a reason given, only that he wanted to have personal time alone with me.
Now I'm thinking my mom wanted me to find the dvd's, so that I might form a relationship beyond step daughter and step father. I now think she meant us to be together and I also think Ian knows too. Why else would he tell me to get the same exact oil he used in the dvd for our night together.