When I got home from school this summer I started having sex with a married man. He lives a couple houses down. I've known him and his wife for years and I've always thought he was hot. He waits for the school bus with his kids every morning in front of my house. I asked him for help moving something heavy the second morning I saw him out there. My parents had already left for work. Of course I had the intent of getting him to cheat on his wife with me, who BTW is a very attractive woman. I anticipated just oral, but he was very aggressive and he ended up fucking me bareback. It was great, except when he asked if he could come in me. I didn't actually say "no," but instead said, "I'm not on birth control," and I assumed that would've prompted him to pull out. He came in me anyway, at full depth and he stayed there on top of me for a while. I was surprised he did that and it gave me almost as big a rush as the thought of him being married. Plus when I had finally realized he was coming in me, I just laid there and let him do it. I think I was just too caught off guard. It was the first time a guy ever came in me without a condom.

Afterwards I got really nervous, I was trying to remember the start of my last period, counting the days on the calendar and sitting on the toilet trying to push out every last drop. I convinced myself that it was too early in my cycle for me to get pregnant, plus I was just too ashamed to buy a morning after pill at a local pharmacy where someone I know might see me.

We had sex again the next day and I wanted him to use a condom, but he promised to pull out so I let him go bare. Of course he didn't pull out. I tried to resist and I got really pissed off at him. He made some bullshit excuse about how I'm too hot for him to resist "doing what nature intended him to do."

I tried to stay away from him, but last Friday (6/5/15) he rang my doorbell and I couldn't resist. He's rugged, athletic, tall, handsome, very confident and aggressive and those are huge turn ons for me. That day he took me from behind at first, but after a few minutes he sat on the couch and pulled me on top of him. I rode him and kissed him deeply. He promised he'd tell me before he was going to come so I could jump off and I promised to let him finish in my mouth. He did warn me with plenty of time to spare, except that time I got an insatiable rush and I didn't stop. He tried to warn me again, but I just kissed him and rode him to completion. It was incredibly erotic.

He admitted that he gets off on the thought of getting me pregnant. I admitted that it gets me hot in the heat of the moment too, but I get a lot of anxiety afterwards. He said that's normal. I think the idea that he's married and that he came in me that first time knowing full well that I was unprotected makes me feel proud. I know that makes me a really bad person, but to make up for it I don't plan to tell his wife or claim child support if I do get pregnant. That makes him very happy. I would have to tell the child who it's father is at some point though. My other worries are of school and my reputation amongst my family. Will I finish at my prestigious university or will I have to transfer to a crappy local community college? Will my family view me as some base trollop or will they understand that everyone has different sexual desires? Will they support me and help with a baby? I'm trying to just relax and enjoy this experience and let it happen. I know that I'm making his dreams come true too and that helps a lot because I think I'm in love with him. I'm not stupid or naive, I just have a hard time controlling my sexual desires, and right now I desire him to "breed" me, as he so often puts it.

Sorry for rambling on so much, it's just that we've fucked every day since Friday and I don't think we're going to stop. Last weekend were days 14 and 15 in my cycle and we fucked twice last Saturday at his house, in his bed where I could smell his wife. So hot! On Sunday it was a quickie in his garage while his family was home. I just walked right up his driveway when I saw him, pulled down my spandex just enough and let him shoot in me. It must have lasted less than two minutes before I was walking back to my house, but it was so hot that he took me with his whole family home.

Sometimes, like now, I get super extremely turned on thinking about it and other times I get so desperately emotional. He's intent on getting me pregnant and I think I'm going to let him purely for his pleasure. I suppose its my pleasure too because I like pleasing him and I do get very aroused when he comes in me. I try not to think about the repercussions because I am so excited in the moment, but I despise myself afterwards for being such a slut. It's all very confusing, but also very exciting. Idk. This is by far the most exciting sex I've ever had and I don't want it to stop, but I know it will eventually and that I will most likely have a fatherless baby to care for soon. I think I've accepted that fate.

Thanks for reading. I do feel better after writing that.