As a child I spent several years in Mexico. My father was on assignment there and my parents had an extensive social life. I was left alone at home with the caretaker. He was real nice and spoke enough English and my parents trusted him. He liked to suck my penis. The first time he sucked my penis he was helping me get out of the shower and he was sitting on the toilet drying me off and he latched onto my penis. He sucked on it real hard, he was able to get my entire penis into his mouth and hold me by my buns and he sucked me for a long time, my penis got real hard I stood there while he sucked and sucked. He made me feel like I wanted to pee, but I didn't pee. After a good while, it was a long time, he put the towel around me and took me to my room and laid me on my bed naked and started to suck my penis again.

That night he also put his tongue into my butt hole and motor boated me. He took his penis out and had me suck him and he laid on top of me and put his penis against me.

It was obvious to my parents that I liked him and he was left to take care of me whenever they went out. I loved sucking his penis as much as I loved him sucking mine. We used to play puppy and get down on all fours and then we would bark and bark until we got a penis to suck. After my shower he always licked my butt, something he didn't let me do to him. We would lay naked with each other, later we would kiss.

I was 13 when we returned to the states. I thought of him and wrote him letters and he would send me letters, which I have kept. I am really sentimental about this. I remained loyal to him for several years until as a 17 year old I was talking to one of the guys that mowed the lawn and he held his dick in his pants and offered it to me and went off the deep end with him. He was in his mid twenties and spoke English more or less and we would meet at the mall and I would go to his pick up and he would let me suck him. One night he took me to his apartment and he took my virginity. By then I had fallen in love with him and I had begun to forget my lover from Mexico.

My new lover and I stayed together until after college. I quit him because he was always asking for money and denying me sex unless I gave him some.

Living away from home I frequented clubs and bars and met guys, but I never got off to anybody except Latinos. At this one bar from the neighborhood, frequented by gays, I was introduced to this one ex-serviceman from Laredo. To say he fucked me every way to Sunday is not an exaggeration. He had come off duty and a white boy like me turned him on and he fucked me and fed me his penis. He made me his toy boy, and by made me his toy boy, that is exactly what he did. He was 36 and have been in the service since he was 18 and now he was out and he was horny as hell and a 23 year old college boy was exactly what he needed.

It was with him that I came into my own. With him I experienced my inner self. With him I knew why I was gay, why I loved penis and why I loved getting fucked. I became his toy boy and moved in with him. I would vacuum for him in my underwear and he would slap my ass and bend me over the sofa for a quick fuck. I sucked his penis constantly. I was his man servant and his toy boy and I was madly in love. It was with him that I called myself sissy.

I am well along now with experience and enjoy my very naught relationships and am totally ok with my preferences. But, I still think about my days in Mexico. Those were the best days, I keep my letters, although I have lost complete contact with my caretaker. I think of him often. I have fallen in and out of love so many times, each one for a different reason and experience, but the one constant in my mind is my days in Mexico. I miss those carefree days and nights. I miss at night when I go to bed his arms hugging me and his hands and mouth on my penis. Him I liked when he sucked me, now mostly I give head, but with him it was different. With him it was the most special time of my growing up days.