Sex is partly physical and partly emotional. It's partly an affair of the cock and partly an affair of the heart. My heart is and always has been straight. It loves women. It really, really loves women, sometimes so much it hurts. My cock used to love women too. Now it seems to just kind of likes them, and the awkward thing is that my cock has come to really, really love men instead.

It's been getting stronger for years, my cock's attraction to other men. I have no romantic interest, no emotional interest in them, but my dick gets hard like I'm 15 again when I see another man's cock, or his swinging balls, or sometimes even just his bare chest (if it's a particularly sexy one). When I masturbate, it's almost exclusively to gay porn now. It just turns me on so much more than straight porn. Sometimes I try straight porn but then it shows the guy's dick and I'm back on the other team -- and I can't help but notice that it wasn't until I saw that dick that my erection started. Oh, the gorgeous women made my heart flutter, but they only made my cock hang a little lower. The gorgeous man had my cock giving a 45 degree salute in five seconds flat.

When I have sex with a real woman, I usually think about men now. I think about sucking their cocks, or fucking them up the ass, or running my hands all over their sweaty, muscled abs. I think about them seducing me. I can keep going in and out of a woman all night without cumming until I give up and turn my mind to men. Then I cum in seconds. It feels great physically, but it always hurts emotionally.

So my heart is straight and my cock is gay. An awkward situation.