I'm a 28 y/o light skin Puerto Rican gay male who is one of a small percentage of trans women who went back to being male. I have always been femme, and started crossdressing in 4th grade. After some resistance, my mom allowed it, and lucky for me my sister and brother were cool with it too. My dad, who was 53 when I was born, never knew. He passed away when I was 8, but lucky for the family he was heavily insured and had a pension and investments. So we were always solid middle class. Having a supportive family and the opportunity to live in good areas made my budding femme life easier. I always had friends, more girls than boys, and avoided all the assholes who hated people like me.

I was becoming more femme as I got older. So much that I started socializing dressed as a girl by the time I got out of middle school. I was building a wardrobe between my sister's hand-me-downs and my own girl clothes. It seemed that I was spending 1/2 my time as a girl. Being very feminine to start with, and being only 5'5" and slim made it easy to move in and out of gender. I never had a problem getting boyfriends, altho many gay men hate guys like me. I even dated str8 guys, do-able because I looked 100% female.

I had learned beauty culture (hair, nails, makeup) and worked at it to pay my way thru community college. I was showing up much of the time to class as 'Catrina' - being a good student and not a troublemaker helped me get over. It was when I hit 21 that I knew I was transgender. I was getting established as a hair stylist and mani-pedicurist, and with over 3 years experience and a following of clients, I had it made. I got my 2-year degree and started working full time. In this type of career, being a femininely gay crossdresser was no issue.

When I was 22 I went fully trans. Catrina 24/7. I went on hormones and started growing small breasts. Implants, and other body alterations were out of the question. Altho I was making good money, the cost involved was too much, and I had my own apartment that I shared with a F friend. Besides, full sex reassignment surgery was too drastic to think about. I mean, I liked my sexual equipment! But it was becoming harder to hold onto BFs, who wanted no part of a trans woman. And str8 guys, when push comes to shove, cant really deal with a penis. By 24, I was becoming unhappy for the 1st time in my life, and frustrated because the hormones were killing my sex drive and ability to "perform". My roommate and close friends knew I was going thru a mental storm and felt trapped. I started seeing a psychologist, and learned that I did have an alternative.

The summer after I turned 25, I went off the hormones. I didn't tell anyone, and still lived as Catrina. My breats shrunk, and my sex drive and potency started to come back. My roommate and then my family were the only ones to notice, because the change was so subtle. I finally told my roommate, mother and siblings that I was going back to male. I still had some male clothes at my mom's house, but I was still Catrina 24/7. The big reveal would be on my 26th birthday. My roommate arranged a big party, with friends, coworkers, and family invited. I was dressed androgynously, less makeup, with jeans, a gender neutral shirt and flat women's shoes. I announced to everyone I was going back to being just a crossdressing gay man. The response, after the shock, was very positive. I was happier than I had been in 2 years, and I was now a fully functional male!! I still crossdress ( a lot!), and my clients at the salon know that I may appear male or female. And I enjoy being Catrina much more now, because I can "turn it off" when the need passes. And I have a boyfriend! Life's good.