growing up my family had a lake house. the house had a pool, and we sunbathed, no swimsuit. I didn't start to stare until I was around thirteen. I did get self conscious as I went through puberty, but all us kids were filling out. I made friends at school with Amanda. she was wow beautiful. I invited her to the lake. I meant for her to share my room and share my bed. I imagined her naked, when we went out to the pool she not only refused to get undressed, but accused us of being sick. in bed that night she was cold and upset. I did everything I could to cuddle her, I lost control, and as I had my arms around her I blurted that I loved her. we were fifteen. in the end she let me spoon her that night, but she never let me see her naked.

at the movies on another afternoon I kissed her, she just stared at me and sat beside we her arms across her chest. I asked her for a kiss, all I got was a kiss on the cheek. I didn't get a lip kiss until I was seventeen. I didn't hear I love you until I was twenty. first time totally naked was at twenty-one. first time sharing Thanksgiving was twenty-four.

now, just when it is the two of us, she will sunbathe with me at the lake.