I grew up in a religiously conservative family. I married at 19 to my high school boyfriend. He works in youth ministry after college. He is boring, self absorbed and holier than thou. My two kids can only participate in church daycare.

My neighbor is a Turkish businessman. He fucks me, he slaps my butt until I am crying, he holds me down until I ask or beg him to complete me. He has given me anal sex and oral sex. My husband only 'copulates'. I hate it.

I don't believe I should be going to my neighbor's house, but I need to feel myself on fire, I never want him to stop when he is slapping me around. I want to feel my ass burn until I get fucked. He is mean and I like it.

I used to feel guilty, now I feel released. I want a divorce.