Hi everyone, at the beginning of this year I made a new years resolution to start being who I wanted to be; I was raised by my aunt after my mom died when I was 15, my dad was not in our lives and none of us have heard from him in over a decade and to be honest that's fine with me. I had the best childhood I could have with the family I had, mom, my crazy but amazing aunt and their parents. Now at 18 there is just me and aunt Anne left. Now my aunt is freaking amazing, she is a great cook, loves music and as this is an important fact she is gay and has never hidden it.

We have always been close and we have a great bond that got even deeper after mom left us, I still went to school and did all the typical things a teenage boy should do but I kept a secret; I had always wanted to cross dress and being a girl, I wanted to meet a guy and go on a date, be wooed and romanced.

Now my figure is slim, 5ft3 and I have always had long hair, down past my shoulders, looking at me you would be hard pressed to tell if I was a boy or a girl. The guys at school had picked on me some but when my mom died most just left me to myself. I have never had stubble or facial hear of any significant amount, so my face could quite easily pass for a female with little effort.

I guess you could say I was a bit skater, some emo and add in some rock n roll and you can guess the way I looked.

So anyways I decided that I wanted to explore this side of me and at 18 I waited long enough and so in early January of this year I began to cross-dress, I took clothes from the lost and found ( I made sure they were washed using a local laundry-mat), I built up the courage and trying to look as fem as I could (tom-boy) I bought the basics (a pair of high heels, a set of underwear and some make-up) with my allowance and earnings from odd jobs. I figured with this and what I could 'borrow' from my aunt (my aunt was similar in height to me but had curves) I had everything I needed.

I took out my suitcase and stuffed everything I could squirrel away into it and waited until I had a chance; it came in the form of my aunt going to a book club (gossip club!) on a Friday night for me to have my chance.

I knew my aunt would be out for at least 2-3hours from 7pm; I waited 15mins to make sure and then ran like hell to my room and throw open the suit case.

I quickly took out what I wanted and as I watched my mom do when I was a kid, I started with the clothes and left the makeup till last so I did not ruin or get it on the clothes as I put them on.

I started with the underwear a simple set of black bra and panties, they felt amazing as I slid them on and did the straps up.

I had decided to get an outfit from my aunts room, I choose a black leather look pencil skirt and a red lacy top; putting these on I noticed how natural it felt.

Sitting in front of the mirror in the bathroom I began to try and get the makeup right, I did not look amazing and certainly not as good as the girls at school; but I was happy and confident for my first time.

I then brushed my hair out and tried to add a bit of style to it, once I was done I tried heels for the first time and I felt my self standing taller, more confident and definitely liked how they made me look.

All in all I was happy, I felt amazing and in the euphoria of the moment I decided to take a quick walk; at this point it was dark and I figured if I slipped out the back no one would really notice; I grabbed my aunts leather jacket and slipped it on. walking felt awkward as I was not used to the feel of the heels and had a few stumbles as I did a quick practise.

going out the door I suddenly felt nervous, what the fuck was I doing? I sat down on the deck and suddenly felt all these bottle up emotions, anger, guilt, shame a whole load of things hit me at once; I cried and I shuddered as I thought what would my aunt think of me?

then the worst moment happened, my aunt was home! I heard her calling my name, what the hell could I do? I couldn't sneak back in with her standing in the hallway, there was nowhere for me to go.

The light went on in the kitchen and I heard the back door open, my aunt froze in the doorway as her eyes locked to my mine and her hand went to her mouth as a gasp escaped; this is it I thought, pack my bags and get out you freak! I had a hundred moments running through my mind as she stood there, tears slipping down her eyes.

I was still frozen there on the deck as she came forward and sat by me, I waited for the mocking or the tirade of angry words to begin but I felt her arm reach around my shoulders and she just held me as I cried; whispering it's ok over and over.

I lost track of how long we sat there, with her holding me and me crying but after a while my sobs subsided and she stood up and held out her hand to help me up, as I stood with her help she finally took in what I was wearing and breaking the ice she just said I should ask if I wanted to borrow her things.

I went into the kitchen with her and took the jacket off, she told me to take of the heels and sit down at the table as we needed to talk.

We spent the night talking away, going over my feelings, why was I doing this and the most hurtful thing for her is why I didn't come to her.

It was around 3am before I hit my bed, the clothes discarded on my drawers as I slept an exhausted sleep.

The next morning, I was nervous as I came downstairs not sure really what to expect as aunt could have done a 180 in the last few hours.

There on the table was breakfast and my aunt sat at her laptop typing away, she greeted me warmly and told me to eat up as she wanted to talk more about last night.

We spent the morning talking over everything again, how I had wanted to be, did I know if I wanted to be with men and how this was going to go as we moved forward.

I found myself amazed and felt even more love for my aunt as she agreed to help me and to support me in this as her sister supported her.

I could go on and on about how much this meant to me.

We started slowly and she agreed to me doing this at home for now, she gave me £500 of my inheritance to use towards clothes and things I would like to try.

Over the last few months I have learned a lot, we are closer than ever and I feel more me than ever before; I am now confident in doing make up and hair, I have a decent range of clothes and shoes and I am free to borrow from my aunts rather large collection of clothes.

We are going to go to Soho in London during the summer and are renting some rooms at a gay friendly hotel, this will be the first time I will be 'out' out and I am both nervous and looking forward to it.

My style has ended up being a real mix of classy casual, some more elegant dresses and my fav is the leather outfits I can borrow of my aunt.

I am considering gender re-assignment and we have talked about it and if I am still wanting to be like this at 20 then we will see a doctor.

I told this to all of you as sometimes there are people out there who really will go to the ends of the earth for you