I didn't really know which category to put this under, but it's not really so much a confession. Part of it is, I guess, as there's more to the story than most know and it isn't really anyone else's business. Anyways, here's my "confession":

I was raised in the church and was very active in it. My parents, both well to do in their own right, always worried about me because... well, they don't think I'm very smart. I mean, I know I'm not the brightest bulb but they'd always tell me "thank God you're pretty". It was kind of a running joke among my friends in the church, too, that I am slow to pick up on things.

I don't remember when... I'll call him C... started coming to our church. I think I was just turning 13. I remember thinking he was handsome and I know he had a really good job and overhearing some of the older ladies in the church talking about how he was single and they couldn't figure it out. He was also the only black man at our church but it was never an issue. I am happy to say that stuff like that wasn't an issue at our church.

Over the years we got to know each other through the various functions at church. He is about 20 years older than I and it was about a month before my 18th birthday he asked if I'd like for him to take me out for my first date. Yes, I had never gone on a date or had a serious boyfriend. It seemed weird as my parents had made a couple comments previously about what I thought of him, and how he would be a really good provider for some lucky girl. I wasn't sure at the time, but it felt like they were playing him up to me or something.

Anyway, I had tried to make a comment about my parents probably not wanting me to go out with such an older guy but he told me my father and he had already discussed it before he even asked me. So I said okay and on my 18th birthday he took me out.

I had a really nice time. It was all on the up and up. Afterwards my mother kept grilling me about it, what I thought of him, if I could see myself with him, stuff like that. I asked her why her and dad were pushing this so hard and she just told me they felt that C was a decent guy that would take care of me. So C and I began dating officially.

We kept it appropriate at church despite it not exactly being a secret and he never made a move towards me. We kissed, we made out a couple times, but it never went beyond that. I was over 18, still a virgin, with a guy who at times seemed like he couldn't wait to tear my clothes from me, but never made a move in that direction. Finally, one day we were alone at his house and had been dating a little over 6 months, I stripped down to my bra and panties and offered myself to him. He turned me down. He told me to think how much more intense it would be on my wedding night being the first time I let a man inside me. I asked him if he was planning on marrying me soon because I really wanted to have sex. With him. It was that night we got engaged. But that wasn't all. We had a long talk before he proposed about... I guess you could say what my roll would be.

C told me he was extremely sexual and that if I married him I would basically be his sex toy. He told me that a young, petite white girl handling his manhood would be overload and he doesn't think he could stop doing me. I told him I'd be okay with that. He also told me we'd have to keep it secret, not that a husband and wife having sex would be so alarming but because he would turn me out so much and need me to be such an nympho that pornstars would blush. I told him I'd be whatever he needed me to be.

For the next 6 months of our engagement when we were alone at his house we watched a lot of porn. He was showing me how I should be. It was hard sitting there watching him get hard in his pants and not be able to help him relieve that pressure.

I started having to wear a bra a size smaller because he liked how it made my boobs stick out. I went from wearing only skirts/dresses to yoga pants, thongs/G Strings; from one piece swimsuits to bikinis just slightly smaller than my size.

Our wedding night he tore my 100 pound frame in two. As you often here of black guys he was long and thick. The thickness of his head... he didn't pop my cherry, he obliterated it.

It's going on a year and we're still together, still screwing each other brains out. C was right. Losing it on my wedding night to him was incredible. When he was coming I just naturally relaxed and took him in deeper, my body climaxing as his ejaculate shot against my cervix. He always fills me up and hits the back of my vagina.