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Women Only
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Straight Female / 34
Where am I in my life. I am pregnant again. I am 34. My son is going to turn two. I am single, never married. My lover is a married man, he is 53. I met him at work and we shared some very harsh words one day, he came to my apartment that evening to apologize and somehow he got into my bed. I did not want to have sex with him, in that sense it was all him, not me. But I was there and he got me on my bed and managed to get my shorts and underwear off and he was on me and there it was, he had sex with me and when he got off I was no longer in charge of my life.
Being his lover has both good and bad. The good is that I don't have to be the wife. I identify more with her than you can imagine. I would not want to be his wife. The bad is that when you are tied to a man and he wants children from you, you have nowhere to run. You get pregnant. His word is your command. No matter what others say, when he demands his rights, he gets his way.
Sometimes I look at life and say that what I am has always been and will always be, a mistress on the side, the other woman, the second family, the concubine. I am not abused or mistreated, I am not a kept woman all the way, because I do work. But to some larger degree than I care to admit, I am kept.
I know a Chinese woman, she is in her early forties, so about ten years older than me. She has been the one to help me live my life the way I do. She understands, what others just condemn. She knows that I am not free. She knows that his wish is my command. She is the one that told me I was a concubine, sounds much better than a mistress to me. She encourages me to maintain a nice home for him to want to come and see me. To take care of his son, so I could get another one.
Sometimes he comes and wants to relax and play with his son, and be with me. Other times he comes and he wants sex and then go home. I have a policy of never refusing him sex. His wife is going through menopause, and she is not as nice to him. Sometimes he just needs sex. I know I am not supposed to say this, because it is forbidden to be said, but I need sex, I need sex from him. Sometimes, the best thing is for him to come and have sex and then relax and play with his son. I like sex from him.
For his wife's 50th birthday they went to Paris, France. He said he will take me on my 50th too.
Being his lover has both good and bad. The good is that I don't have to be the wife. I identify more with her than you can imagine. I would not want to be his wife. The bad is that when you are tied to a man and he wants children from you, you have nowhere to run. You get pregnant. His word is your command. No matter what others say, when he demands his rights, he gets his way.
Sometimes I look at life and say that what I am has always been and will always be, a mistress on the side, the other woman, the second family, the concubine. I am not abused or mistreated, I am not a kept woman all the way, because I do work. But to some larger degree than I care to admit, I am kept.
I know a Chinese woman, she is in her early forties, so about ten years older than me. She has been the one to help me live my life the way I do. She understands, what others just condemn. She knows that I am not free. She knows that his wish is my command. She is the one that told me I was a concubine, sounds much better than a mistress to me. She encourages me to maintain a nice home for him to want to come and see me. To take care of his son, so I could get another one.
Sometimes he comes and wants to relax and play with his son, and be with me. Other times he comes and he wants sex and then go home. I have a policy of never refusing him sex. His wife is going through menopause, and she is not as nice to him. Sometimes he just needs sex. I know I am not supposed to say this, because it is forbidden to be said, but I need sex, I need sex from him. Sometimes, the best thing is for him to come and have sex and then relax and play with his son. I like sex from him.
For his wife's 50th birthday they went to Paris, France. He said he will take me on my 50th too.
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