days when I want to carb down I just eat cup a soup broths, and every day I only ever have 1/4 cup of oats and apple and berries for breakfast sometimes I add a little milk and sugar. but I will sometimes deliberately eat less or nothing for dinner and its best to wait til everyone has eaten that way what is left you don't feel guilty about if everyone has pigged out and you can just say "I wasn't that hungry" and I will just eat a mouthful of potato and 1/2 the meat and before bed fill up on Fiber supplement drinks or capsules and like 9 supplements or the skinny tea drinks that are really high laxative anyway with senna. I like the liver detox milk thistle, artichoke and turmeric, ginger and gr**e seed and cherry, African mango seed sometimes I just have them for lunch and skim milk. and night time I have multi vit and olive and coconut oil supplements and a few other things and celery and dandelion drink. its like I feel guilty if I eat anything more then cow grass. sometimes I have some cucumbers in dill and bananas or coconut water. I do eat with my mum and we have tried raw dieting and its hard to stick to. I do eat meat because I have to. I actually do not like bacon anymore. my treat is the occasional macaroon or lammington but mostly I love fruit or baked beans or cheese is a comfort food and lettuce and horseradish and salad sandwiches. I talk about food a lot and my mind is usually on food and how to reduce it, and build muscle. I drink heaps of tea lately but have to go back to water soon. all I want to do is be a perfect fitness again. I hate being fat. I hate doing nothing. I hate boringness. I hate not having friends that just call up and ask me out. I know I have become a grump person focused on food and exercise and medications and measuring them all but I have had to get better to have less illness. I don't get to have romance and sexual love interests and to be honest for the last 10 years I don't even want sex that much. its just a non-topic to me, like "don't want to talk about and it will go away". its a bother, I don't even flirt what's the point?