My girlfriend is a real life narcissist who often randomly uses verbal attacks to feel superior to me. I try my hardest to get along but she mentally abuses me to get the power she needs to feel like a superior being.

Recently she has told.me out of the blue when we were fine and when I was feeling good about myself and how I looked that day that my glasses made me look like a rapist. I was caught off guard and stayed silent. I know she has a big problem with how.much weight she has gained and how she looks.


Then, in the fitting room told me loudly so everyone could hear that the jeans I was trying on looked nasty because my tummy is a little pudgy and stuck out a little " I'm not far at all" and again this is because she feels bad about her weight.


The worst was when we were peacefully walking and talking together strolling down an isle and I told her about some cheaper pots and pans I wanted to slowly save up for " $5 here and there "a gift gor our apartment and to her. She recently said she lived the copper ones.

She started talking loudly about my financial troubles and how I have almost no money to give her ever, how I have hard time paying any bills because of my debt that I'm very insecure about. I felt a crushing embarrassment. She did this because she wanted to feel superior about her job and money because she feels it's the only thing she truly has above me.

My problem is that I bought a car I couldn't afford and didn't know it at the time and now all of my money goes to paying for it and insurance. Now I'm trying hard to sell the car fast so I can get relieved from being upside down on the loan.

I realize the big mistake I made and i feel horrible about the decision and she knows that completely, she was there when I bought the car but didn't say anything to help me think.

I walked quietly besides her to embarrassed to say anything but "SHHH" and then a lady that worked there blurted out that she was listening to my GF to another company worker.


So these are some of the instances my GF had acted out to make herself feel superior against me in public while seriously hurting my self esteem at the time but what she DOESNT KNOW IS:

I'm paying attention to her actions, sleeping all the time and blowing of sex and letting me go to my friend's when before she'd beg for time together, it's a bad sign.

She doesn't know that deep inside I'm expecting the worst but I already have a plan to what I want to do and that is reinvent my self.


I want to do things I would never ever do before, like go to a cuddle party even though it's very strange for.most people to cuddle a stranger, I want to re open my ability to care and feel affection for myself and for those people around me even if strangers .

I want to find the girl " preferably with dreads" I've always wanted to meet even if it takes some time finding her and I have to be alone.

I want a girl with natural traits, who is peaceful at heart and has a down to earth personality and does not need big fancy things or a lot cash in life to be happy.

Basically, instead of jumping into a relationship like before I'm going to find the person who I really really want to meet, and reinvent myself so "grounded" to earth and find a way where my existence alone is enough to make me happy and obviously relieve myself of debt.

Sadly, I do love my current GF very much and only want to protect her,

I love her very much somehow even though she is very very rude randomly and always has to feel superior and mentally abuses me to feel that way. It will be very hard to let her go, having horrible thought and feeling very vulnerable to becoming lost, lonely and being forgotten