I am a member of a very wealthy but very conservative family. There are to be no scandals.

Early on, around sixteen my cousin who is male and my best friend told me he thought that I was a lesbian because I never talked about boys and I was always fantasizing about being friends with this girl or that girl. At that time I had not kissed another girl. In return for me bringing him girls he covered for me and I had sex with another girl when I was in the 11th grade. He was having sex with another girl, both of the girls were from my school so it was sort to of a gang bang or orgy. This took place out at the lake house. He fucked the girl I had sex with later that afternoon before we headed back to town so she wouldn't feel left out. That is the kind of girls I was going to school with. It was my first experience kissing a girl and being totally naked with a girl on a bed together, my first experience touching a girl between her legs, sucking her tits, in my mind she was a regular nice church girl but she was really a little slut in high school and she just got off to having sex with me waiting for her turn with my cousin.

She liked having sex with me and she and I had sex a whole lot, we both got our first lesbian sex card together and for a long time we couldn't keep our hands off we came so close so many times to being discovered. Yes it was shameful but it felt so good. During one of the lake house trips my cousin went ahead and fucked me too so that I would know the difference. We were not nice kids all we wanted to do was get naked and roll around on the floor together. If my grandfather were to ever know that his first grandfather was getting pussy with another girl he would die.

When my college days came I went to New York to Columbia. I met a girl there and in the safety of our apartment we had sex all the time. She was from Connecticut and she was very patrician and very beautiful and we could see ourselves walking hand in hand down the Champ Elise in Paris. My cousin continued to provide cover for me, he was at Yale and he brought us over for parties on the excuse that he was bringing a couple of girls down and housing us for the weekend. Under his protection we were able to get nasty, he always had a nasty girl with him and we all got naked like we did in high school at the lake house and he fucked any available hole, if you got your butt up in the air you were likely to get fucked. Always, no exception he brought a girl and he put us all in one room and we had sex together. Those were the weekends when we could really let ourselves do nasty things, real nasty things, the nastier the better. I never thought about it but my girlfriend was just as nasty as we were, she didn't mind having him fuck her and she liked getting her nose down and dirty with me, as long as we could make love she was open to anything he wanted to do with her.

Our really nasty streak lasted for several years, well after we got out of college. One day he told me had met little Suzie Q, a girl from a well to do family like ours but she was anything but us, she was truly a little virgin girl who had been raised to be a nice little wife and have a family of six kids. She was nineteen and I was 24 and I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She was my cousin's, he told me she was off limits, she was the marrying girl for him and we needed those types of girls to have the kids, I had to understand that. But none of that kept me from being in love with her.

My cousin told me that it would be the right thing to do for me to get married, we just needed to find a guy who never knew about our play dates and for me to get serious with him and get married and have kids. We had to cover up, I was 24 and by then I should have been married. I went to my wedding day with a long look at my cousin's fiancée, longing to be with her and facing having to be with my husband who was waiting at the end of the isle. She was really innocent and she patted my hand telling me that I was going to be OK, just close my eyes and it was all going to be over in a minute. My father walked me down the isle, I got married like a rehearsed play, I went on my honeymoon and closed my eyes, every single second of sex with him I could only think of my cousins' fiancée. If I wasn't in love with her when I left on my honeymoon I was totally in love with her when I got back.

When she finished college she and my cousin got married, I had a kid by then and I was pretty sure I was going to have a second one, I patted her hand and told her to close her eyes and just let it happen. But not before touching her face and telling her I loved her and nothing made me happier than having her in our family.

I never strayed from my husband, the rules are pretty strict and my cousin enforces them with me. I never fell out of love with his wife, I am just as much in love with her today. We have our families and we are very close. I do have feelings for my husband, but only one person fills my heart. I have never crossed the line with her, the most I have ever done is tell her that I love her. From time to time I remember those days when my cousin and I had our orgies, we were nasty people then. I have never done anything nasty with my husband and I am sure that my cousin has never done anything nasty with his wife. And even though we do from time to time remember and talk about those days with my cousin, they are memories of days that are long gone.