Here's my latest. I've been dating this bitch for over 2 months and she's trying to get serious. Problem is, I hate her bratty kid and the bitch is starting to turn down some of my pervert sex requests (they never turn you down early in the relationship). Anyway, time for this one to go. She's off work on Xmas eve so I told her to be dressed up and ready at noon. I'll send a Towncar to pick her up and drive her to a high end jewelry store. The driver will give her a note to meet me inside at 1:00 (she'll be early, it's a short drive). At 1:05, the clerk gives her a card from me - inside it says "You didn't really think I'd marry a dumb bitch like you did you? Now fuck off." Of course the Towncar will be long gone and she'll be stranded at the store! Merry Christmas you ho ho ho!