Never Told

It started back when I was just 8 or 9 years old. Sometimes I remember everything so clear, it was at my Nana's house all the parents were in the living room and the kids and my dad's cousin which he was probably in his late 20s or early 30s were in the garage that was converted into an extra room watching tv. I was sitting with my dad's cousin, on his lap watching tv... I thought it was normal at first, but when I was sitting there I would feel a bulge under my bottom, I had no idea at the time what was happening, but it made me excited. He would shift me around in his lap or tickle me to make me wiggle on his crotch. I could feel his cock get hard on my pussy and ass, It was like a game between him and I. I'm not sure how long this went on before it escalated. This guy eventually moved in to our house to stay, for how long I'm not sure. Anytime he had to go anywhere or made something up to leave the house he always took me with him, I remember taking a ride in the blue pickup truck and me sitting on the seat next to him, while he was driving he would grab my hand and make me rub the front of his pants and I would feel him get hard. Every time he would drive down toward the corrals, and go into the desert past the baseball fields. He would park the truck and start rubbing between my legs, I remember I was so small I could stand up in the cab of the truck and not hit my head. He would make me stand up and pull down my pants and underwear and he would continue to rub me down there while he pulled out his penis and had me rub him. He rubbed his penis against my vagina and tried to put it inside a few times, I dont know if he ever did or if I blocked that out. He asked me if I wanted his fingers or his penis inside of me, I didn't know much about how things worked exactly but I do recall that I knew a penis could make babies if put in there, so I told him his fingers, I remember the pressure and how it made me wet and excited. he would lower my head down to his crotch and tell me to lick it and suck on it... After I did that a little he would praise me like I was such a good girl he would continue to rub me as he rubbed himself until he finished. I'd pull up my pants and we'd drive back out of desert like nothing happened. This happened probably at least 10 times in the truck and anytime we were watching tv he'd make me sit on his lap. Thinking about it today it makes me wet. I have never told anyone this til now.