My Own Damn Fault

I grew up in a very strict, controlled, Christian household. My clothes were bought for me, my day scheduled down to the minute, and my life planned out meticulously. I hated it but could do nothing about it. I fantasized constantly about what I would do with freedom.

When I was 17 I was sent to college to get a general four-year degree and meet candidates for a future marriage. I decided "Fuck no". I decided to be a total slut and commit every offense my parents warned me about. So I deliberately lost my virginity to two guys whose names I never learned before I even found my rooms and kept that up for four years. Two a day, more if I could manage it, and tried for a gangbang at least once a month. I also became familiar with pussy, pot, and beer, along with a passing familiarity with all sorts of other vices (I've indulged in some hard narcotics, BDSM, and even sampled dog-sex).

My parents died in an accident in my last year of college. Apparently their God didn't care about them dying in their 50's from a random car collision.

Then I left college and went home.

My sister Mary picked me up at the airport, and her son Mickey was with her. In her grouchy way she told me that Mickey was "having problems" and she brought him with her to keep him from "acting out". She also made me sit in the back seat with Mickey because people in the passenger seat made her "nervous" (our upbringing turned me and all my siblings into neurotics).

I soon discovered what she meant by "acting out" as Mickey whipped it out and began massaging it. Mary happened to see it and began berating Mickey for it.

Then I discovered how my lifestyle of the past four years had affected me. I began my slut-life voluntarily, a conscious rebellion. But now I couldn't help complimenting Mickey on his organ, and I truly enjoyed leaning over and blowing him. Mary was disgusted and horrified and told us that, but we were on the turnpike and there was noplace to pull off the road so all she could do was berate us.

I soon discovered part of Mickey's problem when he blew a really sweet load in my mouth. Apparently he was an early bloomer and getting horny before his time. I had no problem with that, and Mickey was overjoyed to find someone who understood him. We had fun on that backseat on the whole two-hour drive home. I don't remember when Mary stopped bitching.

When we got home, Mary told me that I could stay "for now" but she wanted me gone as quickly as possible because she didn't want me "tainting" her other children. And since Mickey was already a "damned sinner", I could take him with me so he didn't "do things" with the other kids.

It took me three weeks to find an apartment for the two of us. When we left, my asshole brother-in-law told us that he had "consulted the Bible" and that Moses was the product of a aunt-nephew marriage, so he gave us a quick "spiritual marriage" before sending us out. To be honest, we both liked the idea and we've considered ourselves husband and wife ever since.

But my problem remained. Even a super-horny boy at home couldn't keep me from literally doing everyone who flirted with me. I actually kept up my two-fucks-a-day with Mickey and then did the same with complete strangers, co-workers, and others. About a year later I was entered into a program for sexual compulsives (it didn't work).

Mickey and me had a lot of fun the first few years, living a porn-character lifestyle and getting laid in a variety of ways and combinations. But when I got pregnant and couldn't even begin to guess who the father was (and probably wouldn't know his name), I began putting the brakes on my compulsion.

It's been eleven years and two children later. We've moved a couple of times and now everyone thinks we're legitimately married and the children are from "before". We don't correct them. My niece Jenny (two years younger than Mickey) was kicked out of her home last year because she had a girlfriend and moved in with us. She turned out to be bisexual and has joined in nicely.

I've actually brought myself under control the past few years. To an extent, anyway. Mickey (and Jenny) have been a big help and now I try and limit myself. By January of this year I was only messing around with Mickey, Jenny, and a small circle of friends regularly. I only "slipped" and screwed someone else maybe once a month.

Then the pandemic hit. The quarantine has been a big help in my avoiding zipless sex with strangers. A couple of our "Special" friends have moved in with us, and the tension has caused me to "binge" a few times.

I still have a problem saying "no", but it's no longer an absolute. I can stop it when I want toi. Usually.