I Don't Seem To Be Able To Quit

In college I started porn modeling, fake name, fake school, mostly soft core coed nudity. I got paid, some weeks a lot, some weeks a lot more. I stayed in college and didn't drop out. After college I recruited models, ran my studio, not all of it soft core, I made a lot more money. Somewhere along the line I realized I was hooked on the girls, the mostly nude girls. So I quit the business and moved to Iowa to work for a Hyatt in hotel management.

I met, got involved with, and photographed a front desk clerk, sold the pictures and did not tell her. The chances of her seeing the pictures is low, they are on a foreign language website run out of Eastern Europe. I felt bad and broke it off with her. When a position in Chicago opened up I took it.

I realize, I know I'm addicted, in posing, recruiting, seducing girls. I'm currently dating a nice girl, dating, treating her like a princess, doing my best to be mature about her. But, when I'm alone I go to the internet, log onto my favorite web sites and masturbate until it hurts.

I could make many times what I make as a hotel manager. I have an offer from Europe, I turned it down. Even if it involves beautiful Eastern European girls. When I make love with my girlfriend I have to be careful not to get weird with her. She just wants to make love.

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