Courage

I can't seem to take the lead but am very popular. I want to be dominant, I really do but I always end up on my knees sucking a cock. My useless penis always seems to be left aching after i'm encouraged to suck and be fucked senseless. I always have to finish myself off after the stud of the day has finished with me. All I want is to be a top, can anyone advise me . What am I doing wrong?