Discovering Of Self

I discovered my bisexual side about eleven years ago. I was married at the time, in my early thirties, and I suppose like so many wives, I was beginning to feel disappointed by marriage and my unromantic husband. And no, I was not about to start having affairs to liven up my life, because it was not just sex that I was interested in.
By chance I read a short story that dealt with a bisexual woman. Okay, homosexuality. That made me cringe just a little. My first thought was lesbian – bad and not nice. Wrong. But the story was about more than just that. It was beautifully written and quite touching and I found myself mildly intrigued. Could it be like that between two women? Did it not have to be this man-hating butch lesbian thing?
Idly I started to find my thoughts wondering about this, and I started daydreaming about what it would be like to just have this woman-to-woman friendship affair. Two women who just felt a female rapport and could identify with one another, and share romantic feelings. I have to admit that over the next year I really did begin to fantasize about this. Of course, in the most idyllic of ways. A little bit like schoolgirl crushes, I suppose.
Well, I met another woman. It was at this used book store where we had seen each other a number of times, and we eventually got to talking and then we stared going for coffee. She was my age and, like me, a bit average. Only she was recently divorced and just getting started on having her own life and doing so in a bit of an unsure way. We discovered that we had a lot in common and there as this really good female-chemistry between us. I now that we were maybe a little self-conscious about this sort of mutual attraction, but we both liked it and were encouraging of it. We even joked about there being something a little more suggestive in this, and neither us minded that.
I told my husband that I had this new friend, and he was fine with that, especially I guess since it was something to occupy my wifey time with. I know that he was bored with our marriage in just the average way that it becomes like that for people. So Cynthia and I started seeing quite a bit of each other, getting together for coffee and doing things like that.
One day she invited me over to her apartment. It wasn’t much, although she had lots of books and green plants and to me I thought that it was quite wonderful. She fixed us coffee and somehow while we were there in the kitchen, because it seemed like the thing to do, and what we both wanted to do, we kissed. We kissed on the lips and it was entirely meant to be romantic and was. We were both a little surprised and self-conscious and embarrassed and all of that. But it had felt so good and so inviting doing that together as female friends.
We managed to get past that, kissed some more, became quite uninhibited and adventurous, and we ended up naked in her bedroom making out and having some rather pleasing sex. Female sex.
I remember afterwards, going home and seeing my husband, and feeling quite guilty over my having done that. Then I sort of justified it, and thought how he was never that romantic and impulsive, and told myself that it had just been this between girls thing. Which it really had been.
Over the next few months Cynthia and I began having an affair. That’s what it was. Neither us could wait to be together, we would go out and enjoy each other’s companionship and just being together, and it was fun the two of us not even being particularly discrete in public about our liking each other. And of course we had some more sex and started to become quite comfortable in that, although it was not about the sex. That was just an added bonus.
My affair with Cynthia went on for over the entire next year, and my husband and I grew farther and farer apart. Finally I just couldn’t see any point in our being married anymore and I asked him for a divorce. He felt the same as I did, so he said, yes.
My divorce went through and I moved in with Cynthia and the next six months were so calm and relaxed and wonderful, and we had the relationship and the romance that we had both always longed for. Cynthia and I decided to move away to the west coast and just live openly together as a couple. Yes, I know, we had crossed over I suppose what is a fine line between being bisexual and being lesbians. Not that either of us especially cared how someone wanted to label it.
But that was now ten years ago and Cynthia and I are still happily together and having the life that both of us had always wanted and dreamed of.
So when it comes to a woman’s bisexuality, I really believe that every woman has that capacity, and that it is not immoral or wrong, but just natural. I know that this will probably receive all sorts of negative comments, like how dare you think that is natural? That is completely immoral and depraved! Well, you are certainly welcome to your opinion and I am sure that your own life is just going marvelously. But I will say that I have a distinct feeling that your life is maybe not all that you want it to be, and that you are afraid of life and to be adventurous and to try something different, so to make yourself feel somehow more secure you criticize everyone around you. How sad. You may just want to think about this and maybe, just maybe, improve your own life before rushing to judgment?
First stones and all of that.