I Fake It

I developed pretty early, by 12 I had C cups, soon they turned into D's, I had a full growth of black hair between my legs. I have well shaped legs, and a nicesized, round butt. I guess I'm pretty enough. Within a year of my pubes growing in I let an 18 year old have sex with me along side a river, lying on a blanket. I got married when I was 23, before my husband, and while dating him I had sex with 22 different men or boys including him. So I'm no shy retiring virgin type of girl.

The thing is that I have never had an orgasm unless I do it myself. I take that back, I had a 4 month long romance when I was 19 with a beautiful 25 year old grad student. I had orgasms with her everytime we made love. With the first guy all the way to my husband and 3 others with whom we had a "shared wife" experience, I have never had an orgasm.

So I faked it for couple of years, then with a very serious boyfriend when I was 16 to 18 I admitted after several months. Then I just stopped faking it. He left me, saying that it made him feel like he was inadequate because I didn't enjoy it. So I started having random sex and then with my husband, and the others I was dating at that time, I started faking it again.

It's been 9 and a half years with him and not one orgasm. I fake it like crazy. The only time I get off is when I go to the toilet and rub myself, thinking of the time I was a lesbian for 4 months. I have 3 kids now, a great husband whom I really love, but I still cannot have orgasms from a penis or a male tongue. Sometimes I'd like to tell him so I can stop acting like I like it. I just would like to lay there, let him do whatever he wants and not pretend. But I wont!