In The Closet And Quite Comfortable There

I found this site some time ago and from time to time I came back to read gay confessions. They both turn me on, gay wise, and over time they have helped me understand that I am not alone. Like many, I would think most gay men are in the closet. The media wants to put it out there that everyone is coming out and letting everyone know about their gayness. My experience is that quite a few of us do not appear gay at all, not until we are sucking on a cock or have our backside available.

My gay behavior, or inclination, started when I was quite young. Ten. I sucked the cock of the kid next door who was eight. It was love at first sight. I mean in love with sucking his cock. We were at his house swimming in his back yard and when we went back up to his room to change his cock was hard and I touched it and sucked it. He didn't tell and neither did I. He grew up quite fine, he is a doctor now and probably doesn't remember that day, or maybe he does.

In our town, in those times, being queer or gay was a pretty bad thing. But there were gay men everywhere, I sucked quite a few of them. And a couple of them convinced me that I could make them very happy if I let them fuck me up my back side, which I did. The first one because he convinced me, the second one because I liked it.

I don't think that I have ever had a gay experience with someone who wasn't in the closet. 90% plus are married men. From various walks of life. In my younger days it was always that dirty old man at the bank, in my older days it is always that dirty old man at the bank. Or the pharmacist, or the music minister, or the cop. They all have cocks, and they all need to have their cocks sucked by a man, and I was the man to do it. I don't remember faces, but I remember where and when and cocks. Like that forest ranger in the park.

I am no different, I have a conservative job, I am a good professional. My gay activity is not an every day sore of thing, it is once in a while when I just get the urge and a cock is available. I don't want to live with anyone, or really be seen with them in a one and one situation. I also have tried to not get involved with anyone too close, someone that I know from work or socially. Strangers in the night. 90% cock sucking, 10% fucking. I do like getting fucked, but it has to be the right man.

I come on here to read about it, because I have a second bad habit. I like to masturbate. Always have. And I masturbate to what I read, not what I see or watch. Although watching two grown men kiss does get me hard.