Secrets

I had two really close friends I grew up and lived by until adulthood. I ll call one s and one m. No pun intended.
S felt me up one night when all three of us were sleeping over. I was maybe 13. I was surprised at first of course but didn’t stop him. It felt very good, only my girl cousin had ever touched me. It felt no different than her but she had stopped playing around with me about a year before this.
So, S and I ended up stroking each other all summer. I was not attracted to him as I was a girlfriend I just couldn’t stop. He was the first person to make me cum, it of course felt so much better than doing it myself. I also admit that I always thought he was about to suck my dick, he would get his lips so close when he would let the saliva drip to my head as he stroked me. I had decided if he did I would suck him as well but it didn’t happen. After a few months we all started HS. I got a really hot girlfriend right away and we would get each other off with our hands. I stopped with S.
Four years later he and I ended up alone one night drinking and he started feeling me up again. Once I saw his bigger dick I became compelled to suck him and did. He was very surprised and happy. We did this regularly for the next five years. During that time he told me he had no interest in girls and he knew I was obsessed with them so it was just a casual thing. He met someone and it stopped, he was still in the closet, deep in the closet.
Years later he was outed, my friend M and I had married years before and I never saw either of them.
I was in the state where M lived and went to visit, he had been divorced and was pretty down. I stayed at his house and late that night after we both had too much to drink he asked me if S and I had ever done anything with each other to which I said no. I asked and his no wasn’t at all emphatic. He was lonely and I’m almost positive he was trying to get something going. It made me feel that he had a history with him as well or S told him about me.

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