Gay Male / 36
A Tortuous Rode, But I Believe I Have Found Who I Am
I was completing my residency and I met this young woman from Colombia who was at the hospital working as a lab technician. She was working on her Bachelor's in Biology. She was working part time . She was quite attractive and I felt attracted to her and I pushed her into having sex. It was her firs time. I had no idea what that meant to her, to girls like her. Once they have sex they are as good as married.
She surrendered herself and when she graduated from college she told me that she had to return to Colombia because her student visa was going to expire. The only way to stay was to get married, which she wanted to do quite badly. She was desperate, I could tell. The one thing she could not do is return to Colombia having been sexually involved. I wasn't against marriage, but my residency was coming to an end and I wanted to get going with my medical career.
She then told me she had gotten pregnant. Whether I married her or not, she was going to have my child. If I didn't marry her she was going to return to Colombia and have the child there, she told me she would list the child as having an unknown father. I got married, she stayed and became a full time wife and had her child, and then another and then another. She repeatedly told me that the only reason she lived was to have children. She was one of nine brothers and sisters, and she saw herself fulfilling that model,
With five children she no longer looked like that student girl, she had gained weight and her face was round and full and her breasts seemed to get larger and larger. I lost interest in her sexually. She didn't care, just have sex with her to get pregnant. She told me that I should find someone discreet to have sex with. Colombian women didn't care if the men had lovers, as long as they had the children.
By then I was working with a physicians group. We had a PA, a young man from Mexico. I told him what my wife had said and he laughed and told me in Mexico the wives hire the secretaries or have maids for their husbands. But he said, maybe I wanted something else. Something dark and prohibited. Maybe I wanted to feel a hard man in my mouth, maybe I wanted to feel a man's lips on my manhood. Maybe I wanted to kiss a man, maybe I wanted to kiss him.
Up to that moment I had only seen him as member of the staff. But while he talked I saw how smooth his skin was, his lips, his eyes looked hard into my eyes. He leaned forward and put his hand on me, grabbing hard, leaning forward until his mouth was on mine and he kissed and I kissed back. He got up and made sure the door was locked and he lowered his pants and showed me his already hard cock. He walked over and held my head and rubbed his cock against my face. His cock was against my lips when I opened my mouth and he slipped it in.
Time stopped and he thrust his hips against me, in rhythm. Soon he was on the floor getting my cock out of my pants and sucking on me. He jerked me off, I came without being able to control it. He laughed at the cum on his shirt. Using a finger he took some and ate it. Then leaned over me with his hands on my shoulders and kissed me. A few days later I had sex with him at his apartment. We had several evenings together, he was open to anything.
A month later he showed me a picture, of me with his cock in my mouth. And another of me on him with my cock in his ass. He had been taking videos while we had sex. He was clear about it, some things needed to stay hidden. He wanted a sugar daddy, to support him, to have sex with him. My life had become a mess. And my wife was pregnant with her sixth child.
By then I had no desire for my wife. I only desired him, sexually. I knew where the camera was and played to camera. I watched the videos of me having sex with him, and that drove more sex. I was no longer a stranger to it, I enjoyed it. I had fallen for him. My wife asked often who my lover was, she wanted to meet her. To approve. I though to myself what would she do if she knew that my lover was a man.
Things have settled down now, I've lost the lust for being with him. For convenience purposes I made arrangements for him to be PA in another practice. My wife has her life, with her six children. He is still my lover, but we are over those days of wild sex. Now it is sensual, the sex has evolved to a higher level. I no longer question if I am gay, I am.
She surrendered herself and when she graduated from college she told me that she had to return to Colombia because her student visa was going to expire. The only way to stay was to get married, which she wanted to do quite badly. She was desperate, I could tell. The one thing she could not do is return to Colombia having been sexually involved. I wasn't against marriage, but my residency was coming to an end and I wanted to get going with my medical career.
She then told me she had gotten pregnant. Whether I married her or not, she was going to have my child. If I didn't marry her she was going to return to Colombia and have the child there, she told me she would list the child as having an unknown father. I got married, she stayed and became a full time wife and had her child, and then another and then another. She repeatedly told me that the only reason she lived was to have children. She was one of nine brothers and sisters, and she saw herself fulfilling that model,
With five children she no longer looked like that student girl, she had gained weight and her face was round and full and her breasts seemed to get larger and larger. I lost interest in her sexually. She didn't care, just have sex with her to get pregnant. She told me that I should find someone discreet to have sex with. Colombian women didn't care if the men had lovers, as long as they had the children.
By then I was working with a physicians group. We had a PA, a young man from Mexico. I told him what my wife had said and he laughed and told me in Mexico the wives hire the secretaries or have maids for their husbands. But he said, maybe I wanted something else. Something dark and prohibited. Maybe I wanted to feel a hard man in my mouth, maybe I wanted to feel a man's lips on my manhood. Maybe I wanted to kiss a man, maybe I wanted to kiss him.
Up to that moment I had only seen him as member of the staff. But while he talked I saw how smooth his skin was, his lips, his eyes looked hard into my eyes. He leaned forward and put his hand on me, grabbing hard, leaning forward until his mouth was on mine and he kissed and I kissed back. He got up and made sure the door was locked and he lowered his pants and showed me his already hard cock. He walked over and held my head and rubbed his cock against my face. His cock was against my lips when I opened my mouth and he slipped it in.
Time stopped and he thrust his hips against me, in rhythm. Soon he was on the floor getting my cock out of my pants and sucking on me. He jerked me off, I came without being able to control it. He laughed at the cum on his shirt. Using a finger he took some and ate it. Then leaned over me with his hands on my shoulders and kissed me. A few days later I had sex with him at his apartment. We had several evenings together, he was open to anything.
A month later he showed me a picture, of me with his cock in my mouth. And another of me on him with my cock in his ass. He had been taking videos while we had sex. He was clear about it, some things needed to stay hidden. He wanted a sugar daddy, to support him, to have sex with him. My life had become a mess. And my wife was pregnant with her sixth child.
By then I had no desire for my wife. I only desired him, sexually. I knew where the camera was and played to camera. I watched the videos of me having sex with him, and that drove more sex. I was no longer a stranger to it, I enjoyed it. I had fallen for him. My wife asked often who my lover was, she wanted to meet her. To approve. I though to myself what would she do if she knew that my lover was a man.
Things have settled down now, I've lost the lust for being with him. For convenience purposes I made arrangements for him to be PA in another practice. My wife has her life, with her six children. He is still my lover, but we are over those days of wild sex. Now it is sensual, the sex has evolved to a higher level. I no longer question if I am gay, I am.
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