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This was about 20 years ago when I was turning 40.I had broken up with a woman and in spite of the steady sex with her was confused sexually .More and more I was having gay fantasies and masturbating thinking about men .I had repressed these desires for many years and not acted on them but felt like I was less and less able to fight them off.

I decided not to date for awhile and sort things out .Instead on weekends I went to a local bar and had a few drinks by myself quietly before going home to jerk off picturing some guy in my head .The build up was becoming so intense .In the course of these evenings I began noticing another somewhat older guy drinking alone as well. He was about 50,cleanshaven with glasses and fairly tall. He looked introspective and average in a masculine sense giving off no gay vibes .At first I had no idea he was gay but somehow over time our glances met more and more frequently .This excited me and I began picturing him as the guy I was having sex with .I suppose these sexual urges began permeating the evenings for me and I looked forward to them and seeing him drinking there.

It was around 3 months since I first saw him there that things progressed suddenly. This night I was especially horny and our glances at each other were held more and more. He got up to leave and I followed him to the parking lot .He turned to face me and quietly asked me to accompany him back to his place .I think we both knew at this point we wanted each other and there was no pretense any longer .He was around 6ft 3 2inches taller than myself and I felt almost girly walking beside him as if I was his date .The thought crossed my mind was that this was how a woman felt when attracted to a man and I liked it .We got to his large apartment in an older building and he poured us both a stiff drink. He took the lead and after we finished the drink led me to the bedroom. He took my clothes off first then his and kissed me deeply on the mouth when we lay down naked together .After some passionate necking he fondled my erect cock and I could see his similar cut cock was hard as well .He went down on me and gave me a very satisfying blowjob swallowing my explosive load of cum as I could not hold back .He lay back and I eagerly returned the favor savoring how his sexy cock felt in my mouth and sucking it greedily .I loved sucking his cock so much I yearned for his cum to spurt in my mouth and he soon obliged. I took every drop and we lay back to relax and smoke a cigarette together .It was such a huge release sexually and felt very intimate as well .We spent the night in each other's arms and I blew him again in the morning then he masturbated me in the bed .It was better than any fantasy I had up to that point .We chatted deeply together as it was the weekend with no rush and we had oral sex again that evening in his bed .He admitted he was living as a gay man and was happy to help me discover my gayness once and for all .We have been lovers ever since and for 20 years we have pleasured each other orally and he fucks me regularly .Now the reality has taken the place of my fantasies and we have lived together for years .We sit as a couple at the local bar but save the affectionate touches and sex for later as we do not act gay in public and prefer to be just 2 guys who dig each other.