Desires To Be With Men

Married but caught feelings with a gay friend. We've never tried anything or even talked about it. Just every once in a while we get that moment where you know that there could be something between us. We don't see each other that often anymore, but I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be with a man. My sexual fantasy is intense. Not necessary a certain type, but whatever I'm attracted to. But I would love to be intimate with a man for the first time. Someone to teach me how to suck dick. I even think about anal. Don't know if I could even go through with it, but would like to try.