Straight Male / 46
Stress Leads To Submission
I've discovered something about myself. For a long time I thought I was bisexual because I liked performing oral sex on guys. I thought, well I don't like guys, not attracted to them but if i suck cock I must be Bi right? I say that because I love women, I'm focusd on women but desire cocks and cum in my mouth so I must be some form of bi.
I lived with this no problem for me at all. My wife and I were practicing non-monogamists and I felt that what difference did it make that more often than not, when I stepped out I was doing so to suck cock?
She was off fucking one of her guys so I went off to suck off strangers.
A few guys I was very submissive with. they brought extra guys I would suck off or would try to get me to let them fuck me in the ass which I refused. i was all about sucking.
Then I started thinkin about maybe, just once, letting a guy fuck me in the ass just to see what it was like, maybe it was fun who knows right?
So I started practicing with a dildo. it was a big dildo, 8 inches and really thick. Dumb in my part but I learned a lot. At first it hurt like fuck. I got some on line advice, didn't hurt as bad and after many tries the thing not only wen in but i sank right down to the balls. Now it hurt, but it was tolerable and sliding up and down wasn't so bad, more like a mixture of pain and pleasure.
After while I got to where I could lube up and just take the thing deep and I'd ride it and jerk off. So yeah that pretty bi.
Recently I've had to come to terms with the level or stress in my life from work. I'm a high level executive living under constant pressure and low and massive stress at times. It's starting in one day when I was sucking off my fourth guy, and loving it honestly, that
it wasn't the act or the cock or the guy i was into it was being submissive. I thought about it a lot. It was true.
I was submission. Me, the C-Suite guy, the boss, the one everyone comes too constantly was submissive. Some research, turns out it's pretty common. High level people. mostly guys from what I could tell, become submissive in their sex life to jettison responsibility and stress.
That may me think.
Not long ago, after a particularly stressful week, i wanted to suck cock badly. Struck out again and again, then blew a much older, frankly nasty guy, just because I had to do it. It was teh act, not the guy.
I was feeling shame and disgust, trying to figure it all out and I had an explosive day. On a vacation day no less, I went in and everything blew up. I don't think I've ever been as stressed.
Finally went home, wife was due home in an hour and without much thought, I pulled out my dildo, lubed up and forced it into my ass, felt the thing penetrate (ouch) and felt it sinking deep into me and I realized, I do this stuff to relieve stress. I do things like fuck huge dildos and suck stranger's cocks to relieve the pressure of my life.
Since I realized this, I've lost all desire to suck dick or fuck myself with the dildo. No interest. The stress is gone.
Of course, I'm sure that as my stress level builds, so will my need to suck dick or fuck the dildo or go even further.
It's strange, realizing the things you do and the reasons you do it. It explains all those times I got a dick in my mouth then instantly lost the desire to suck it, doing so merely out of obligation. All those times, I felt that way then had no desire for months then all of a sudden I absolutely had to get a dick in my mouth.
It was my way of coping with stress.
If you're a cock sucking like me, who only cares about the cock, who losses interest in mid blow job, who looses interest for months at a time. Think about the stress in your life.
Right now, I feel that I'm a straight guy who has relieved stress though submission to other men. Of course, I could be dead wrong but I'm curious what others think, what they've experienced.
I lived with this no problem for me at all. My wife and I were practicing non-monogamists and I felt that what difference did it make that more often than not, when I stepped out I was doing so to suck cock?
She was off fucking one of her guys so I went off to suck off strangers.
A few guys I was very submissive with. they brought extra guys I would suck off or would try to get me to let them fuck me in the ass which I refused. i was all about sucking.
Then I started thinkin about maybe, just once, letting a guy fuck me in the ass just to see what it was like, maybe it was fun who knows right?
So I started practicing with a dildo. it was a big dildo, 8 inches and really thick. Dumb in my part but I learned a lot. At first it hurt like fuck. I got some on line advice, didn't hurt as bad and after many tries the thing not only wen in but i sank right down to the balls. Now it hurt, but it was tolerable and sliding up and down wasn't so bad, more like a mixture of pain and pleasure.
After while I got to where I could lube up and just take the thing deep and I'd ride it and jerk off. So yeah that pretty bi.
Recently I've had to come to terms with the level or stress in my life from work. I'm a high level executive living under constant pressure and low and massive stress at times. It's starting in one day when I was sucking off my fourth guy, and loving it honestly, that
it wasn't the act or the cock or the guy i was into it was being submissive. I thought about it a lot. It was true.
I was submission. Me, the C-Suite guy, the boss, the one everyone comes too constantly was submissive. Some research, turns out it's pretty common. High level people. mostly guys from what I could tell, become submissive in their sex life to jettison responsibility and stress.
That may me think.
Not long ago, after a particularly stressful week, i wanted to suck cock badly. Struck out again and again, then blew a much older, frankly nasty guy, just because I had to do it. It was teh act, not the guy.
I was feeling shame and disgust, trying to figure it all out and I had an explosive day. On a vacation day no less, I went in and everything blew up. I don't think I've ever been as stressed.
Finally went home, wife was due home in an hour and without much thought, I pulled out my dildo, lubed up and forced it into my ass, felt the thing penetrate (ouch) and felt it sinking deep into me and I realized, I do this stuff to relieve stress. I do things like fuck huge dildos and suck stranger's cocks to relieve the pressure of my life.
Since I realized this, I've lost all desire to suck dick or fuck myself with the dildo. No interest. The stress is gone.
Of course, I'm sure that as my stress level builds, so will my need to suck dick or fuck the dildo or go even further.
It's strange, realizing the things you do and the reasons you do it. It explains all those times I got a dick in my mouth then instantly lost the desire to suck it, doing so merely out of obligation. All those times, I felt that way then had no desire for months then all of a sudden I absolutely had to get a dick in my mouth.
It was my way of coping with stress.
If you're a cock sucking like me, who only cares about the cock, who losses interest in mid blow job, who looses interest for months at a time. Think about the stress in your life.
Right now, I feel that I'm a straight guy who has relieved stress though submission to other men. Of course, I could be dead wrong but I'm curious what others think, what they've experienced.
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