The Three Times I Cheated

I decided to post this here instead of a few other places. This seems like a more understanding place for bad behavior. I have cheated on my husband with three different men. Twice, I was feeling alone, unattractive and in need of validation from a man. The third guy I was just weak and horny and not able to stop myself.

I was married at 23, first kid at 25 and my husband lost sexual interest in me. I thought it would pass, we were both caught up in our daughter and his work and all that and we drifted apart sexually. At 27 we were having periodic sex with was unsatisfying, I met a guy whose son went to the same day care, we talked, I liked the attention, started feeling attracted to him, didn't resist and actually aggressively pursued a sexual relationship. The first time we fucked, was at my place on my couch. Play date, kids napping, sitting there, he touched my breasts, I touched his dick, we kissed and before long we went at me, my pent up frustration came out in an explosive sexual attack on his body, mostly his dick. I loved it, loved him inside me, loved making him moan and cum. He felt guilty after, we agreed it was a one time thing but I was hooked and I pursued sex with him. We got together for months before we got it out of our system. I liked just sneaking by his work when he worked like to give him oral or to let him fuck me in his office. Things cooled off and months went by and that was it we went our different ways. Home like was better though. I was just happier having a man who wanted me. My husband never seemed to notice.

The second guy was when I turned 30. I was frustrated again, my husband's friend was coming around a lot, being flirty, and one day was over, we were alone for about half and hour and he fucked me from behind. Not much talk, just pulled down my shorts, fucked me from behind standing up in my kitchen, fondling my tits, we both came and that was it. Until the next time. He started coming around more often, I started sucking him off and we fucked when we could. For two years we fucked every chance we got until he got a real girlfriend. It was so awkward the first time he brought her around, I was so jealous and upset but couldn't show it. We fucked a few more times then he decided no more and he's still with her.

That leads me to number three. My husband and I had an argument, I left the house. Went to a bar and was desperate and fucked some stranger in the parking lot. I was very reckless, let him fuck him in the open, didn't care, he took me into the truck and I sucked him and rode him until we both came after which he was done with me. No surprise there.

Had it out with my husband, told him I was considering divorce, we are in counseling, things are going better, there's a lot that went on due to lack of communication and intimacy we are working on. I told him I fucked another guy. Not about the long term guys, just the one off. He told me that he had been in a long-term affair with a women I know casually. Lots of heartache and misery but we may make it, not so sure tho.

I have had the opportunity to have sex with a guy who I probably would have a year ago but I said no and was firm about it. I don't want to be the cheating wife anymore, I want to give us a chance.

Thanks for listening to everyone who did.