i hate my neighbors. they've finally been evicted and have to be out in mid-december. so i wrote a little song just for them...it's to the tune of "jingle bells."

jingle bells,
go to hell,
you got evicted!
you'll have to stay outside all day
until the winter's end..
(hey!)

if you weren't
such a jerk,
you might still have a home...
but you spent - didn't pay the rent,
so now the streets you'll roam.

(the end.)

i wish i had the balls to stand on the porch and sing it while serving cupcakes and coffee to the sheriff's deputies who will undoubtedly be called to escort them from the premises on eviction day.