I'm An Exhibitionist, And I Wish I Trusted More People With That

I'm not entirely sure if I've used the right gender, but I'm a pre transition trans man. Due to some complicated nonsense, oral sex seems to be what I can handle most frequently, and anything else is a hard no without trusting someone a hell of a lot more. But ever since I was young, I have had urges to strip naked and then show someone. I don't like my body, but I enjoy the fact that someone would be aroused by me. To the point where I once decided to go on a fetish site for a weekend and share nudes of myself. I liked being asked for more nudes. I liked people enjoying the photos. It just sucked a lot that my body unfortunately, reads female, and considering the costs of surgery, it may not happen for a long while. I don't mind the words slut or whore because those don't sound as gendered to me, but bitch and c**t are a little too feminine, and for obvious reasons I don't want to be called a girl or a woman. But I'm still hella tempted to leak my own nudes. I still want everyone to tell me how to pose and call me a slut. Sometimes i wish it was easier. That I could qll of a sudden not give a fuck about what I was called so long as I was being ogled. I often think about if I were cis I'd already have become a stripper. I wish I didn't need to cultivate trust about accepting my identity before I stripped for someone. They don't have to so much more than assure me that they see me as a man, but even that feels like an obstacle some days. It's there to protect me, but I wish I didn't need protecting. I want so badly to take photos of myself all the time. Especially now. It's extremely tempting. And I'm submissive enough that with enough pressure I might. I just don't want to regret it later.