Living The Part Is A Little Hard Right Now

The day I married my husband I was under no delusions of what I was getting into. You see, I'm a lesbian. I knew it, he didn't. Somehow I had to make it work. I got married to have children, not a child, a household of children. For that I needed a father, a man who could pay for my family to be, a man who would not only father my children, he would also raise them. And for that I had to switch gears, go straight and be a 'woman'.

I knew how to look the part, play the part, sex with a man couldn't really be that difficult, I was sure I could pull it off. Ha, I admit it's a lot harder than I thought.

This man I married is now aware of what he married, after four kids I confessed. But I'm in it up to my neck, four kids, the oldest is now ten and the youngest is a toddler about to walk. Let me clear something up, I have never cheated on him, and I have always been available to him. But going on 12 years I am wits end, I need a girlfriend, one who doesn't mind being a kissing buddy.

I hope this feeling fades away and I can get back to being a wife, in the carnal sense, I'm a wife in every other sense. My husband's patience is getting thin, he wants his wife back.